"Jesus Christ! The end of the world is here and I'm not dressed yet!"

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

Oh my Lord... I never should've taught that kid on the all-cabbage diet how to light his farts.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

It was then that Dan, after a life-long commitment to dental hygiene, tossed out his toothbrush and raced to the fridge to suck down one last chocolate eclair.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

"Two weeks later when his teeth started falling out, Fred realised not only had he wasted hot afternoons in the dentists all those years, but that moving to the Korean DMZ, with Bush still in the White House, had not been the wisest decision he'd ever made..."

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

"At least the day hasn't been a TOTAL waste," thought the cup of water.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

The Hitchhiker's Guide - Redux

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

"...nooooooooooooooooo, I was supposed to see Legally Blonde 2 today!"

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I has a flavor!

"Oh, yes! Now I don't have to see Legally Blond II today!"

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

It was then that Dave thought, "What a crappy way to die. Masturbating while brushing my teeth."

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Yes, I'm William Blake. Do you know my poetry?

-It was then than Akheem realized he was supposed to flee the country BEFORE the bomb went off.

-George finally found the cure for his nearly 30 years of chronic constipation.

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

"Dat's a SPICY meat-a-ball!"

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This is not my empire.