Geniu$  

We now go live on location to presidential hopeful John Kerry, who has surprisingly accepted a cruise from President George Bush.

Thanks, Jim. I'm now on the ship, which has full Turkish bath facilities.

At first I thought this whole thing was a ploy to get me off the campaign trail, but I figured, it was probably just a nice gesture.

Hi, Mr. Kerry. A secret admirer would like to buy you a Turkish, um, "bath." The card simply reads, "You've been Bushwhacked."

I was wondering why "bath" had been written in in crayon. At least I'll be out of here in a week...

We're sinking.