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A bitter message of hopeless grief--you want fries with that?
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The Heart of a Drunkard
by
Savage
9-12-07
Oh Ed, I'm so happy!
Why is that, bro?
I'm in love! She's the most wonderful girl in the world!
But what about Myrtle Slagfelt, the girl you said you were in love with last week?
Oh, she left me for that guy who ties balloon animals with his feet. My new girlfriend is really, really special.
Well, that goes without saying.
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Savage's Comics
06/16/09 - At Least He Won't Be Having Any Loud Parties
01/17/08 - An Unexpected Revelation
10/28/07 - Two Brothers, Only One Heart (and one brain)
09/15/07 - Romance is in the Air. Or is it?
09/15/07 - Fred, About to Become Teacher's Pet
09/12/07 - The Heart of a Drunkard
08/11/07 - Brothers Share
07/13/07 - Fred, about to Make Something of himself
06/06/07 - Creativity Cannot Exist In a Vacuum
05/19/07 - Social Services
03/21/07 - You Can't Blame a Penguin for Trying
03/05/07 - They'll Be Eating Lunch at Home
03/03/07 - Stranger in a Strange Land
03/03/07 - Penguin Bob To the Rescue
03/02/07 - An Old Friend Drops By
02/14/07 - Timmy and Tommy Take an Unplanned Trip
02/14/07 - Maybe the Professor Knows What to Do?
02/14/07 - Inter-species Dating Just Isn't Working Out For Bob
02/14/07 - Love is in the Air
12/14/06 - Crowded House
12/14/06 - Fred Shows His Visitor a Little Wanker Hospitality
12/09/06 - Old Houses Have Personality
12/09/06 - Home, Sweet Home
11/14/06 - When Selling, You Gotta Personalize the Pitch
11/08/06 - Behold, the New Wanker Manor!
11/07/06 - Truth, Justice, and the American Way
11/07/06 - Fred Meets a Mysterious Man
11/07/06 - Y'all Get Out and Vote Now, Hear?
11/07/06 - Another Brilliant Scheme, Boys!
11/07/06 - When Duty Calls, Fred Answers
11/07/06 - Fred Exercises His Civil Rights, Over and Over Again
10/31/06 - Back From the Dead--uh, sorry...
10/31/06 - Your Soul Is Much Easier To Digest
10/31/06 - Death Always Wins.
10/31/06 - Death Never Takes a Holiday, But He Does Like Parties
10/31/06 - Small Talk
10/31/06 - Perhaps They Should Shave First
10/31/06 - Dramamine Probably Won't Help
10/31/06 - You Will Soon Go On a Long Journey
10/31/06 - Always Be Polite to Aliens
10/31/06 - You Can Learn a Lot From TV
10/31/06 - Timmy and Tommy Try Again
10/31/06 - The Guests Arrive
10/31/06 - Party Crasher
10/31/06 - Party Etiquette
10/31/06 - Stuck In the Middle With You
10/31/06 - The Smutty Side of Halloween
10/31/06 - A Friend Cracks the Strip Creator's Shell
10/30/06 - Papa Joe is a Gourmet Cook
10/30/06 - Workplace Stress
10/30/06 - Movin' On
10/30/06 - Renter's Insurance Would Have Been a Good Idea
10/30/06 - See, Ed is a Caring Brother
10/27/06 - Civic Responsibility is a Heavy Responsibility
10/27/06 - Halloween Justice
10/24/06 - Timmy and Tommy Plan Ahead
10/20/06 - Always Know Your Place
09/30/06 - Can't Fool Mom
09/14/06 - Here Comes Dad, To Save the Day
09/10/06 - She Works Hard For the Money
08/31/06 - Fred Decides it's Time to Call Dad
08/31/06 - Some Questions Are Better Unasked
08/31/06 - Mom Worries
08/31/06 - Mom Checks Up On Her Boys
08/31/06 - The Strip Writer Wishes She'd Stayed in the Dungeon
06/20/06 - Yes, Fred Has a Plan
06/11/06 - And So It Begins, Again
06/03/06 - Ed Would Be a Great Dad, Don't You Think?
05/30/06 - Fred is the Target Audience
05/30/06 - Beginnings Are Always Tough
05/30/06 - Fred is Doubtful
05/29/06 - Kid Lit: The Next Big Trend
05/29/06 - Look To the Skies!
05/29/06 - And the Creative Process Begins
05/29/06 - The Brilliant Idea!
05/29/06 - Fred and Ed Are Good Sons
05/14/06 - They're Back!
06/27/05 - TV Rots Your Brain
06/27/05 - Saved by Mother Nature
06/27/05 - Lost in the Desert
06/27/05 - Frying In the Hot Oil of Nature's Indifference--nevermind...
06/27/05 - Ed Always Knows
06/26/05 - Necessity is the Mother of Invention
06/24/05 - They've Travelled Far; About a Hundred Yards
06/23/05 - Fred 'n Ed's Amazing Adventure: The Epic Begins
06/19/05 - Another Adventure Looms
06/19/05 - Ed is a Very Protective Big Brother
06/19/05 - Good Thing Fred Has Ed Around To Set Him Straight
06/19/05 - Penguin Bob Does the Best He Can
06/18/05 - Another Lightweight
06/17/05 - A Difficult Mission for Penguin Bob
06/17/05 - A Little Surprise
06/17/05 - Bob Has a Job To Do
06/17/05 - The Return of Penguin Bob
06/12/05 - Do Therapists Make Housecalls?
06/11/05 - He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother (Unfortunately)
06/09/05 - Where's Mom?
06/09/05 - A Mother Has Ways
06/09/05 - Fred 'n Ed are Saved!
06/08/05 - Ed Props Fred Up
06/07/05 - Mom and Dad to the Rescue
06/07/05 - Fred Is Just a Pawn, In the Game of Life
06/07/05 - The Kind of Phone Call Every Parent Dreads
06/07/05 - Fred is Lonely
06/07/05 - Ed Loses His Cool
06/07/05 - Think Fast, Ed
06/06/05 - Ed Makes the Pitch
06/06/05 - Ed Has Been Thinking About Losing a Little Weight
06/06/05 - Ed Has a Plan
06/06/05 - Ed Has An Idea!
06/06/05 - Something Must Be Done!
04/25/05 - Fred 'n Ed Do Everything Together
04/25/05 - The Idiot: Or, Fred's New Career
03/31/05 - Fred 'n Ed: A New Hope
11/04/04 - Oh No!
11/04/04 - Ed Remembers...
11/04/04 - Wait, It's Coming Back To Me Now...
11/04/04 - But How DID They End Up Here?
11/02/04 - Fast Forward--What Happened?
10/31/04 - The Evil Twins
10/31/04 - Timmy and Tommy and Ed and Fred On Halloween Night
10/29/04 - Fred 'n Ed, Out On the Town
10/29/04 - Halloween!
10/29/04 - He Who Holds the Strings
10/29/04 - Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining
10/29/04 - There's Too Much Sex On TV
10/28/04 - Disgruntled Voters
10/28/04 - The Nation Is Informed
10/28/04 - A Disastrous Interview
10/28/04 - The Great Debate of '04
10/28/04 - Against His Will
10/26/04 - Boys, Boys. It's Just Part Of a Disturbing Trend
10/26/04 - A Sudden Stench
10/25/04 - A New Future Awaits You...
10/25/04 - The Strip Writer Has Another Bad Experience
10/25/04 - Dare To Dream, Little Drunkard
10/25/04 - Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon
10/25/04 - How Did He Find Them?
10/25/04 - A Dolt From the Blue
10/25/04 - Political Prisoners
10/25/04 - It Was!
10/25/04 - Could It Be?
10/25/04 - Fred Gets an Invitation
10/25/04 - Ed Practices His Diplomacy Skills
10/25/04 - A Fast Escape
10/25/04 - Searching
10/25/04 - Nearly Caught!
10/25/04 - He Just Wants the Facts, Ma'am
10/25/04 - Well, They Haven't Been Thrown Out. Yet
10/25/04 - A Moment the Boys Will Always Remember
10/25/04 - They're In! They're In!
10/25/04 - Footnotes In History
10/25/04 - Washington D.C. Under Siege: Film At Eleven
10/25/04 - Oops
10/25/04 - Fred 'n Ed Will Not Shirk Their Patriotic Duty
10/25/04 - Anticipation
10/25/04 - Another Crisis Averted
10/24/04 - Mom Comes Through For Her Boys, Yet Again
10/24/04 - Off To a Bad Start
10/24/04 - First Day At School Is Easier With a Buddy
10/24/04 - Get the camera, Dad!
10/24/04 - A New Strategy
10/24/04 - The Real Reason
10/24/04 - Nobody Talks To My Brother Like That But Me!
10/24/04 - Ed Unveils His Plan
10/23/04 - Ed Apparently Has a Plan
10/13/04 - Plans For the Big Day!
10/10/04 - Fin
10/10/04 - And In Yet Another Cell...
10/10/04 - Meanwhile, In Another Cell
10/10/04 - Bad Boys, Part Two
10/10/04 - Greet Your Brethren With a Holy Kiss
10/10/04 - Two Who Are Not Having a Happy Vacation
10/10/04 - Fred 'n Ed Do Not Get An Astronaut's Hero's Welcome
10/10/04 - Fred 'n Ed. First Drunkards In Space
10/10/04 - Leaving Las Vegas
10/10/04 - Fred 'n Ed, Running For Their Lives
10/10/04 - Meanwhile, Back At the Ranch...
10/08/04 - De Nile Is Dis Way
10/08/04 - Mom Thinks Fast On Her Feet
10/08/04 - An Unexpected Encounter
10/08/04 - Jackpot!
10/08/04 - Corruption of the Innocent!
10/08/04 - You Saw This Coming, Right?
10/08/04 - A Warning Goes Unheeded
10/08/04 - Granny Flirts With Death
10/08/04 - Beware the All-You-Can-Eat Crab.
10/08/04 - Death Takes a Holiday (Okay, a Business Trip)
10/08/04 - Fred 'n Ed Are Recognized
10/08/04 - A Touching Reunion
10/06/04 - Fred Makes Good His Escape
10/06/04 - Run Little Drunkard, Run!
10/06/04 - The Edge of Fright
10/06/04 - Waking Up In a Very Bad Place
10/05/04 - Drink Me
10/05/04 - Treasure
10/05/04 - Ed is Bummed
10/05/04 - Just Fred 'n Ed
10/05/04 - Uneasy Lies the Head That Wears a Crown
10/05/04 - Bloodshed Narrowly Averted
10/05/04 - At Last! Mecca.
09/22/04 - Another Brush With Authority
09/22/04 - Fred 'n Ed Experience the Green Fairy
09/21/04 - The Strip Writer Regrets Not Packing the Ruby Slippers
09/21/04 - Fred 'n Ed See the Slimy Underbelly of Showbiz
08/29/04 - Fred 'n Ed Are In the House
08/29/04 - In the Lobby Of the Pixiedust Hotel
08/16/04 - Small Town Boys Hit the Big City
08/16/04 - Riding the 'Hound to Paradise
08/16/04 - Fred 'n Ed Plan a Vacation!
08/15/04 - Meanwhile, Back At the Ranch House.
08/10/04 - We Now Resume Our Scheduled Program...
08/09/04 - Strip Writer Gets a Visit From Mom
08/05/04 - Timmy and Tommy Feel a Certain Unrest
08/05/04 - Fred Has Psi Connection With Strip Writer. Ed Says Shut Up
08/03/04 - The Strip Writer Must Get Out Of Her Rut
07/26/04 - The Enchilada Fiend Learns His Lesson
07/26/04 - Dream Of An Enchilada Fiend
07/22/04 - The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same
07/18/04 - The Awakening
07/18/04 - The Tree Fell In The Forest, And Only A Few Heard
07/18/04 - She Goes Insane. And Nobody Notices.
07/16/04 - The Strip Writer Does ToughLove
07/12/04 - Bob the Penguin Is Called To Duty
07/12/04 - The Strip Writer Has Run Out Of Ideas. And Bourbon.
07/11/04 - Fred Has A Bit Of A Fever Dream
07/10/04 - Doreen's Sister Is In Town
07/10/04 - Fred's Dream Turns To Ashes
07/07/04 - A Narrow Escape, Once Again
07/07/04 - Mistaken Identity, Mistaken Ideas
07/07/04 - Unconfirmed Celebrity Sighting At the Ice Cream Store
07/06/04 - Timmy and Tommy Had a Good Time. Probably.
07/05/04 - Timmy and Tommy Arrive At Doreen and Joe's Desert Palace
07/05/04 - Timmy and Tommy Journey To the Land Of Eternal Drought
07/03/04 - Fred Kisses And Tells
07/03/04 - Fred Loses His Innocence
07/02/04 - Fred 'n Ed Go Shopping
07/02/04 - Penguin Bob Muses Over His Narrow Escape
07/01/04 - Granny Wonders
07/01/04 - Granny Pays A Visit; Meets Penguin Bob
06/30/04 - A Very Pleasant Night Ahead Indeed
06/29/04 - Mom Makes A New Friend
06/29/04 - Mom Comes To An Obvious Though Incorrect Conclusion
06/28/04 - Tommy and Timmy (when he wakes up) Are In Big Trouble
06/28/04 - Fred and Tommy Worry About Their Brothers
06/25/04 - Fred 'n Ed Make a Potentially Disastrous Decision
06/25/04 - Timmy and Tommy Spend a Night In the Graveyard
06/25/04 - A Lifestyle Decision
06/24/04 - Another Romantic Evening Spoiled
06/21/04 - Dad Is Confused. Penguin Bob Might Get Hurt
06/21/04 - A Daring Escape Plan Is Hatched, Sort Of
06/20/04 - Fred 'n Ed Underwater
06/20/04 - I'm Seeing Double Again
06/20/04 - It's All About Marketing, Baby
06/20/04 - Mom Knows What Dad Likes
06/20/04 - Mom and Dad and Penguin Bob--Suburban Smut
06/19/04 - Dad Explains the Facts of Life To Fred
06/19/04 - Dad Has To Bail Mom Out Of Jail
06/17/04 - Fred 'n Ed Bring Supplies Out To Their Parents.
06/16/04 - Ed and Dad Have a Heart To Heart Talk
06/16/04 - Mom and Dad Move To the Desert. Fred Wonders Why.
06/14/04 - The Twins Got Away With It. For Now...
06/14/04 - A Touching Family Reunion
06/14/04 - Fred 'n Ed Find New Jobs
06/14/04 - Ed Is A Damn Good Driver
06/14/04 - Fred 'n Ed Decide That It Is Time To Leave.
06/14/04 - Ed Lights Fireworks. Fred Is Tinkerbell. Panic and Wonder.
06/14/04 - Fred 'n Ed Prepare To Make Disneyland History
06/14/04 - Fred 'n Ed Manage a Narrow Escape
06/14/04 - Ed Saves Fred From the Evil Clutches Of That Hussy SnowWhite
06/14/04 - Can't You Just See the Dramatic Reunion Coming?
06/14/04 - Fred 'n Ed Are Separated
06/14/04 - Fred 'n Ed Visit the Haunted Mansion
06/14/04 - Fred 'n Ed Are Pirates. Aaarrrrrrr!
06/14/04 - Fred 'n Ed Take A Jungle Cruise; Only One Comes Back
06/14/04 - Fred Makes a New Friend; Ed Is Secretly Jealous
06/14/04 - Fred 'n Ed Visit the Mouse House
06/14/04 - Fred Has the Meal Of His Dreams; Ed Buys Him a T-shirt
06/14/04 - Fred 'n Ed, Working Hard For Their Money
06/14/04 - Fred 'n Ed Get Pulled Over On the Autopia
06/14/04 - Fred Is Disappointed; Ed Consoles Him
06/14/04 - The Further Magic Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/13/04 - Fred 'n Ed Visit Main Street and Discover Magic
06/13/04 - Fred 'n Ed Have a Little Trouble With the Blender
06/13/04 - Fred 'n Ed Ride the Disneyland Choo-Choo
06/13/04 - Fred 'n Ed Have Further Troubles With Disneyland Security
06/13/04 - Fred 'n Ed Try To Enter the Home Of the Mouse
06/13/04 - Fred 'n Ed Take the Disneyland Tram
06/13/04 - Fred 'n Ed Prepare For Their Disneyland Trip
06/12/04 - Fred 'n Ed Plan a Nice Daytrip
06/10/04 - Fred 'n Ed's Mom Has a "Date."
06/10/04 - Fred and Ed Are Sad
06/10/04 - Fred 'n Ed's Undersea Adventures
06/10/04 - Fred 'n Ed Bring a Little Something To the A.A. Meeting
06/10/04 - Fred 'n Ed's Christmas Memories
06/10/04 - Ed Makes Dinner For Fred Once Again
06/10/04 - Fred 'n Ed Visit the Nuclear Power Plant
06/09/04 - The Spooky Adventures of Freaky Fred 'n Eerie Ed
06/09/04 - Fred 'n Ed's Adventures in Skydiving
06/09/04 - The Fabulous Flying Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/09/04 - The Further Culinary Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/09/04 - The Exciting Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/08/04 - Ed Gets a New Hobby. Fred goes to the hospital
06/08/04 - Fred 'n Ed's New Career Is Going Well. So Far.
06/07/04 - The Drunken Sports Fan Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/07/04 - The Wacky Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/07/04 - The Mad Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/07/04 - The Lovelorn Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/07/04 - The Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/06/04 - Fred 'n Ed's New Career
06/06/04 - The I'm Telling You For Your Own Good Adventures of Fred'nEd
06/06/04 - The Alcoholic Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/06/04 - The Brain Damaged Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/06/04 - The Dutiful Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/06/04 - The Salacious Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/06/04 - The Forgetful Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/06/04 - The Confused Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/06/04 - Fred Tells Ed His Really Cool Idea
06/06/04 - The Drunken Adventures of Fred 'n Ed
06/06/04 - The Adventures of Fred 'n Ed: The Booze Brothers
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