andydougan
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Dramatis Personae
Andy Dougan film critic extraordinaire. Enjoys illegal pornography and biscuits.
Russell Crowe actor and poet. Husband to a trophy wife. Father to a trophy son.
Huw Edwards BBC news anchor. The Hunky Face of TeatimeÂ®.
George W. Bush President. Defended the whorehouses of Houston from the Viet Cong.
Christian Slater certifiable actor. The id to Crowe's ego.
Osama and Mullah Omar fugitives. Kandahar's answer to Bert and Ernie.

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We were soldiers once, and young

by andydougan
2-06-04

John Kerry, aspiring presidential nominee, discusses campaign strategy


	Senator, polls indicate your war record is your main - not to mention sole - selling point. Try to play that up.


	You mean, sprinkle my speeches with some Nam metaphors and puns? That I can do!


	George Bush, we're going to "boot" you and your whole "camp" out of the Oval Office!


	We're going to napalm you right back to "the world"!


	We're going to hack off your ears and wear them as necklaces!


	He makes a good case, but I still like that nice Kucinich man.

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andydougan
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