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| Dear diary: Today a man came to my door to tell me about Jesus. I didn't know who this "Jesus" character was. I asked the man if he was running for mayor or something. | |
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| He said no and then I said "Good, because I'm too young to vote." The man then told me all about Jesus and how he died for my sins. I said "Well, if he died for my sins, might as well make a few, eh?" | |
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| I laughed, the man didn't. He then yelled at me. My dad woke up from his druken slumber and beat the man with a boogie board. I said "I love you, daddy." Then he kicked me, took my money and left me. | |
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