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| I make pancakes every morning for the guy that lives under my mom's bed because she tells me if I don't, she'll gut me like a pig in a slaughterhouse. | |
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| I still can't figure out how this guy lives under my moms bed, you know? All I ever hear is that squeaky mattress, like he's underneath it, punching it for long periods of time. | |
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| Then the guy makes a really loud yell, as if someone punched him in his no-no spot or something. Sometimes my mom will make a weird noise, too, but not always. | |
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| Then the mattress stops being punched. But if the guy yells first, maybe he's not the one punching the mattress, right? Maybe my mom is on top of the mattress punching it until the guy yells at her. | |
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| Either that, or they're just fucking. | |
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| (my left nipple can make chocolate milk) | |
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