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| i want to talk about stuff i hate. dont you hate it when all sorts of people come up to you and are all like Oooh youre so hot and Ooooh youre so sexy? | |
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| i know i do because sometimes ill be in a kindergarten all a-whackin off and smackin my balls against building blocks and the janitor will show up and be all Ooooh youre so sexy. | |
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| and im like Listen buddy take a number cuz this hot mama is too hot to handle! but sometimes i just throw thumbtacks on the floor and punch him in the nuts. | |
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| im all like You old man i dont want your wrinkly old penises so put them away and let go of my sisters clitoris before her vagina teeth bite your hand clean off you dumb lesbian. | |
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| so then ill use a ruler to lever stuff up his butt and scratch my name in his ballskin but then he gives me a certain look and im like Sorry dad i didnt mean it. | |
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| (i think beer is an appropriate gift for a childs first birthday) | |
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