I can't get my wife pregnant. It turns out I have a low sperm count because I tied a rubber band around my genitalia all through my teen years. Now I can't get erect without a rubber band on my balls.
So, I put it in tupper ware. I think thats pretty safe.
I thought you might try and sell me fake sperm. So once my wife is pregnant I'll wire transfer the money to my grandfather and you can pick the money up from him. He's haitian, but he's a good man.