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| Dear Apple, Microsoft, and other purveyors of voice-activated technology: I am never going to talk to your machines. | |
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| Talking to a computer might have been cool when Michael Knight or Captain Picard did it, | |
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| but when I'm standing in a crowded subway car yelling "Siri, cancel my date for tonight and add toilet paper to my grocery list," I just look like a tool. | |
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| Even if I lose all ten fingers in a freak baccarat accident, I will whittle down my arm-stumps and continue typing with them. | |
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| I would ask for robotic hands, but you'd probably want to make those voice-activated, too. | |
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| "iHands, log on to cybersexnow.com and enter my credit card number, which is five six eight nine... yes ma'am, I know this is a public library. I can't help that I have a disability." | |
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