Jack, there's only enough space on the lifeboats for women and children. I can't bear to let you die. In my cabin there's a suit of armor that will protect you.
And then we'll be together forever, Rose.
CUT! That didn't work. He still died. I want a happy ending! How about if you two sing songs from West Side Story?
Glub.
When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way, from your first ciga...
Hang on, wait a second. It's 1912 here. What the fuck's a jet?
