Hi there. You may know us from the "sucky sucky" comics, but today we have a special offer for you.
Yes, you can buy a ten-sucky-sucky coupon set for just $49.95, and we'll throw in your choice of these free gifts:
An asiangirls raincoat, a feetforears nightlight, or a play money $5 bill with Brad's picture on the front.
Or you can choose a slightly soiled biscuit or an atlas of Wales donated and autographed by Bazilla.
They're not ordering. Are they?
You told me this would work. You said they'd be selling like hotcakes. You took me off the street where I could be earning a fortune for this? I hate you!
