Mr. Chekov, ever since you've come onboard, I've been getting complaints from the crew. Uhura says you tried to tell her the good news about Jesus Christ.
Scotty says he caught you putting holy watter into the warp drive. Sulu says you dumped all of his Romulan ale down the toilet.
And Bones tells me you were saying that I ought to be flogged for fathering a child out of wedlock, and "that harlot" Carol Macus should be stoned to death. For god's sake, what's gotten into you?
Oh, it was truly horrible, Keptin. They put preachers in our ears!
