So, how was the trip to Charleston? And what happened to your face?
Oh, that? My wife smacked me. You see, we'd been driving for 9 hours, we were almost there, and she wanted to stop somewhere and use the bathroom.
That hardly seems grounds for assault ...
Yeah, well, it was pretty empty country; we didn't see any place good to stop, but then we drove past this building marked "U.S. Vegetable Research Laboratory."
Don't say it ... Don't say it!
So I said to her, "Look, we can stop here and you can take a leek ..."
