Monks of the Norelcan order shave themselves with long, sharp straight razors mounted on poles. They believe this will ensure their entrance into paradise in the afterlife.
Eohippus novus cunnilingum.
Fucum ivdei canteka iok.
But one clumsy friar kept cutting himself and making a horrible mess of the bathroom, not to mention the permanent stains on his simple robes.
Owwus, owwus!
For the sake of his brothers and the cleanliness of the monastery, he made the supreme sacrifice -- he let his beard grow out. Today we know this martyr as St. Nick.
