quodlibet  

Congratulations, sir, I've got some great news for you. You've hit the jackpot!

I don't understand, I th-th-thought --

You've got a rare, one-in-fourteen million type of nut cancer that has already spread and will cause you a slow, painful death. But that's just like winning the lottery! One in fourteen million!

My nuts?! But -- thank goodness my wife's pregnant! But my nuts!

Yes, obviously your testicles are unable to produce sperm, so I've knocked her up for you. We'll have to take both your nuts -- not as if you really need your balls anyways. Congratulations!