quodlibet  

Oh Lenny! I'm so ashamed! I should have trusted you, even when you refused to change the channel, or when you were ogling Anna Kournikova.

You should have known that our love was based solidly upon the infatuations of youth and a mistaken impression of sex appeal.

I was so worried, with our relationship defined solely by the space we shared and the foods we ate, rather than any profound intellectual pairing.

But, my darling, our need to cope with stress with fast food has only strengthened our marriage. Our forms now are so corpulent that even we could not have marital relationships, even if we tried.

I'm so sorry for all the time that we've lost out of our lives. Oh Lenny! How I love you!

But I'm not sorry for all the lard now wrapped around our thighs and waists, preventing intimate relations with other creatures. Now we can be completely monogamous without fear of further adultery!