quodlibet  

Dear Santa, Judging from your lack of response, you didn't like my previous offer. Perhaps you were offended by the events at my house last year.

I hope you have healed from any burns inflicted by the flamethrower mounted in the fireplace. I can also send back the boot you left behind in the vicious leg-trap.

Any resemblance to the Cinderella story must end there. Yours sincerely.