quodlibet  

And just what are you doing in that impressive hole in the floor, young man?

Creating a long escape tunnel to freedom from this indoctrination camp inspired by the Third Reich. Obviously.

And how exactly did this gigantic hole in my classroom come into being?

The typical stench of sulfuric acid and the mere fact that this is a chemistry lab might have tipped you off, my infinitely wise teacher.

Why can't you be like other little boys? Fight, assault girls, and do badly in school?

Your skull must be immensely thick to prevent the vacuum between your ears from self-imploding.