quodlibet  

What's this?

I know Santa has you on the 'naughty' list for, er, your various deeds. So I put a present under the tree for you.

Permit me to examine it. It looks real. Eyes, ears, nose, fur, tail attached....

The guy on the internet said it was real.

But the true test of veracity, Watson, is the presence of the anal sphincter on this raccoon hat. Excellent, Watson. Excellent.

I...figured you'd like it.