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| I was sitting on my lawn one fine afternoon, shooting crows with my shotgun, when out of nowhere, the other guy from Wham came lunging after me, holding a jar of mint jelly. | |
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| He then proceeded to rub the mint jelly all over my naked body. Yes, I was naked. Did I forget to mention that? Anyway, I asked what he was doing. He hissed at me and continued rubbing the mint jelly. | |
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| I said "WHAAAAAA????" and kicked TOGFW's throat with a mighty force. He then threw a SpiderMan action figure at me, which I caught with my bulging pecs. Then I laughed like a pirate. | |
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| But when TOGFW said that my mother wore army boots, that's when I lost it. I walked over to him and body slammed him into a cactus. He howled with pain and flicked my ear. | |
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| "Flick my ear, will you, BITCH?" I roared. Then I picked up TOGFTW and threw him into a pit of scropions and hungry fat kids from Milwaukee. He died a painful death, and that made me giggle. | |
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| (This story is so good that God gave me the power of super speed) | |
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