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| I was laying on my bed one day, thinking about killing my parents when Santa crashed through my wall. He said I was a naughty boy this year so he pooped in my stocking. | |
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| I then threw a rabid midget at Santa to get him to stop, but Santa opened his mouth and the midget flew in and Santa ate him and continued to poop in my stocking. | |
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| I didn't know what else to do so I yelled to the top of my lungs "MEOW! LOOK AT ME! I'M A KITTY!"....Santa looked shocked. He couldn't believe that I would ever say such a thing in his precence. | |
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| So then he got naked and started slapping his thighs. I got confused so I transformed into a dinosaur with my amazing transforming abilities and ate Santa. | |
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| Santa is now poop. Kids will no longer get presents at Christmas. I felt like a bitch so I put a block of cheese into every kid's stocking at Christmas. Except the Jews. | |
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| (I first started writing these stories when my daddy started drinking) | |
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