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My Fuck Off
by
travisweird
2-09-05
Hi, I'm Alfo, or something, and I'm the head of our operations. I've sold just about everything over the phone, from coupon books to insurance.
So he's the head telemarketer. Maybe they're like vampires, I can kill him and the rest will go back to normal.
After living a long and fruitful life, Travis Garden passes away and ends up in hell, but not for the reasons he expected...
What did I do to diserve this?
Telemarketers in the back please.
So, what do you do for a living?
Fuck it.
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travisweird's Comics
12/01/16 - Alternate Realities: President Jill Stein
12/01/16 - Alternate Realities: President Gary Johnson
12/01/16 - Save Pepe The Frog
11/30/16 - Celebrity President
02/04/15 - Personified Dinosaurs Discuss Dating
02/04/15 - Personified Dinosaurs Discuss Mankind
02/04/15 - Personified Dinosaurs Discuss Evolution
02/04/15 - CBS Presents Two Broke Girls Fresh Off The Boat
03/07/14 - ABC's The Bachelor, Season Finale
03/07/14 - ABC's The Bachelor, Episode 4
03/07/14 - ABC's The Bachelor, Episode 3.
03/07/14 - ABC's The Bachelor, Episode 2
03/07/14 - ABC's The Bachelor, Season Premiere
03/14/12 - The GOP Candidates Smoke Weed
03/14/12 - Peter Gabriel Teaches Business 101
01/20/12 - It's Like I Can Hypnotize A Woman Out of Her Clothes!
12/28/11 - David Lynch presents: "The Non-Sequitur"
12/20/11 - Dear Dr. Laura...
11/20/11 - Munchkin Runs For President
11/20/11 - Redneck Secretly Watches Dancing With The Stars
09/11/11 - Lousy Nature Programs
05/03/11 - Not What You Want To Hear
05/03/11 - Gay/Straight Paradox
05/03/11 - That's No Urologist!
02/01/11 - Soul Surfer
12/28/10 - Pretentious Baby
12/04/10 - Farmville My Ass!
11/25/10 - No More Hate!
05/04/08 - A Redneck Upset By What He Sees On Television (part three)
05/04/08 - A Redneck Upset By What He Sees On Television (part two)
05/04/08 - A Redneck Upset By What He Sees On Television (part one)
02/28/08 - Hardcore
02/21/08 - Fox News on Barack Obama
02/15/08 - Another Single Valentine's Day Success
02/07/08 - Checking The Mail
01/30/08 - All Dogs Go To Heaven Totally Screwed Me Up As A Child
01/24/08 - Koopa Pundits
01/09/08 - The Final Decline of The KKK
12/29/07 - Sylvia Plath and Me part III
12/29/07 - Sylvia Plath and Me part II
12/29/07 - Sylvia Plath and Me
12/21/07 - Senator Larry Craig: part three
12/21/07 - Senator Larry Craig: part two
12/21/07 - Senator Larry Craig: part one
10/19/07 - This halloween, Ann Coulter Presents: THE HOUSE OF LIBERALS
04/14/07 - "Liberals In Space And Other Concerns Of America's Future"
03/25/07 - "Liberals And The Chemical They Produce That Causes Cancer"
03/25/07 - Lorena Bobbit
03/25/07 - Men's Night At The Wet Spot
03/14/07 - Gaydar Malfunction
02/21/07 - Things I Do That Get On Josh's Nerves(The Bathroom Incident)
02/21/07 - Foolish Customer
02/02/07 - Living In The City part II
01/24/07 - Living In The City
01/04/07 - Becoming A Vegetarian
12/01/06 - Shamu's "I Didn't Do It But If I Did Here's How It Happened"
11/27/06 - Filling Out A Unicru Job Application
11/25/06 - More Proof Sunday Cartoonists Are The Least Funny People
11/25/06 - When The Remote's Batteries Die
11/21/06 - Seinfeld Season 7 deleted scenes!
11/17/06 - Living With Mom At 21
11/15/06 - The Mystique Shoppe
10/28/06 - Martin Scorcese Gets Pulled Over
10/03/06 - Unsatisfied Customer
10/03/06 - AN INCONVENIENT POOF
09/24/06 - Franz Kafka's Miserable Childhood
09/24/06 - Scabies Has A Crush On Jude Law part II
09/24/06 - Scabies Has A Crush On Jude Law
08/25/06 - More News From Prague
08/25/06 - Pirate Envy
08/09/06 - Violence On Television And Today's Youth
08/09/06 - My New Plant
08/07/06 - My Family Reunion
07/28/06 - The Ostentatious Period
07/25/06 - Scabies Says Farewell To Her Babies
07/16/06 - Wilson The Peeping Tom
07/12/06 - Travis Garden's 200th Comic
07/12/06 - Nova Presents... The Jim Dandy Theory
07/01/06 - Jim Dandy On Change of Heart part four
07/01/06 - Jim Dandy On Change of Heart part three
07/01/06 - Jim Dandy On Change of Heart part two
07/01/06 - Jim Dandy On Change of Heart part one
07/01/06 - Common Sense Evades Susan
06/29/06 - Jim Dandy Spends The Night At A Texaco part 4
06/29/06 - Jim Dandy Spends The Night At A Texaco part 3
06/29/06 - Jim Dandy Spends The Night At A Texaco part 2
06/29/06 - Jim Dandy Spends The Night At Texaco part 1
06/28/06 - Interview With Lucky Cotton Pickens
06/28/06 - A Public Service Announcement About Vincent Gallo
06/28/06 - Concept Video For Robby French's "Only Fourteen"
05/17/06 - The Watchtower LIVE!
05/13/06 - State of The Union Address Bloopers
05/13/06 - Can't Afford To Feed Scabies
05/13/06 - Talking To My Cat About The L Word
05/13/06 - My Waning Social Skills
04/23/06 - Not As Funny As Garfield
04/15/06 - 1 out of every 6 proctologists are closet homosexuals
04/01/06 - A Man With A Broken Home
03/26/06 - Crash of The Titans
03/24/06 - The Aristocrats
03/12/06 - Brokeback Mountain
03/02/06 - Bush's Approval Rating
02/07/06 - The Superbowl
01/13/06 - Pointless Science
12/30/05 - People Who Settled Out of Fear of Loneliness
12/21/05 - Calling Dr. Bogart
12/19/05 - Happy Holidays from Black Pete
12/02/05 - Ridiculous Comic
12/02/05 - Winter In Idaho
11/30/05 - Congratulations America
11/30/05 - Little Test
11/27/05 - The Island of Misfit Toys
11/27/05 - Fiddy Cent in The Santa Clause 3
11/20/05 - Cowboy Dan Takes The Gay Test
11/17/05 - Old People And Starbucks
11/16/05 - MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMCHECKERS!
11/12/05 - My Neighbors Get Kicked Out Of Their Apartment
11/02/05 - Travis Living On His Own
10/13/05 - Arabian Fights
10/09/05 - The Kate Moss Diet
09/07/05 - Its A Great Time In Detroit
09/05/05 - Mean Penguin
08/29/05 - The Horrifying Future of Modern Cinema
08/22/05 - The Office Romance of Ned and Janine
06/29/05 - Travis's Journey Comes To A Sourly Unfunny End
06/20/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 27)
06/20/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 26)
06/20/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 25)
06/20/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 24)
06/20/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 23)
06/20/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 22)
06/11/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 18)
06/11/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 17)
06/05/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 16)
06/01/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 15)
05/30/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 14)
05/29/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 13)
05/29/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 12)
05/28/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 11)
05/28/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 10)
05/28/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 9)
05/24/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 8)
05/23/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 7)
05/22/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 6)
05/22/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 5)
05/22/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 4)
05/22/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 3)
05/19/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 2)
05/17/05 - The Life Affirming Journey of Travis Garden (Day 1)
05/17/05 - Super Mario Bros. 3
05/15/05 - The Beginning of The End For Michael Eisner
05/09/05 - Center Partners pt. 2
05/07/05 - Call your mother! Or else!
05/05/05 - Vices
05/04/05 - Travis Garden Sees A Psychiatrist 5
05/04/05 - Travis Garden Sees A Psychiatrist 4
05/03/05 - Travis Garden Sees A Psychiatrist 3
05/03/05 - Travis Garden Sees A Psychiatrist 2
05/03/05 - Travis Garden Sees A Psychiatrist
05/02/05 - The Secret Lives Of Snowmen
04/30/05 - Travis Auditions For The L Word
04/29/05 - To Jenneeeeeeeeeee: Sorry But I'm In Love With Will Ferrel
04/28/05 - Smooth Criminal
04/27/05 - This For Anyone Who Has Read Jenneeeeeeeeeeee's Comics
04/27/05 - Erwin Schrodinger's Cat Paradox
04/23/05 - Herbie Sphincter's Obituary
04/22/05 - Attack of The Chauvenist Bees
04/22/05 - Ernie Looks For Love
04/22/05 - Close Encounters of The Third Sex
04/22/05 - Travis Garden Presents... The History of The World
04/20/05 - Someone Takes Inflatable_Man Off Their Favorites...
04/20/05 - 4/21!
04/20/05 - Gastropoda Badassamus
04/20/05 - You Just Got Served By The Devil!
04/20/05 - Travis Garden Looks In The Mirror
04/20/05 - Male Bonding
04/19/05 - Cow Mutilations
04/19/05 - Travis Garden Turns 21 And Redeems All His Camel Cash
04/19/05 - Geek Hypotheticals
04/19/05 - Where Are They Now?
04/19/05 - Little Sarah And The 1234Jive!
04/19/05 - Personified Dinosaurs
04/17/05 - Touch of Ebert
04/17/05 - The Devil And Travis Garden
04/17/05 - Silence of The Bull
04/16/05 - The Donkey Show
04/16/05 - Why Talking To Your Cock Is Absurdism
04/16/05 - Career Tests Are Useless
04/16/05 - Grim and Granny
04/16/05 - Return of The Living Date
04/15/05 - Night Of The Living Date
04/15/05 - One Special Little Girl
04/14/05 - The M Word
04/13/05 - White People!
04/13/05 - White People!
04/13/05 - White People!
04/13/05 - White People!
04/13/05 - I Like Beer Sports And John Wayne But Not In That Order Hun!
04/12/05 - Classic "What the fuck am I doing??" Moments
04/11/05 - Thanks For Coming, Miss Wisconsin!
04/10/05 - The Original Donnie Darko...
04/09/05 - Galavision Presents: Americans Are The Craziest Peoples!
04/09/05 - The Little Girl That Wouldn't Stop Surfing
04/09/05 - Smokey Looks Really Gay With No Shirt On
04/08/05 - Mom, Dad, I'm A Stripper.
04/07/05 - ANGELIQUE FRAME
04/07/05 - A Blind Date Meant For Disaster
04/06/05 - Just A Quick, Discreet Purchase At The Sex Shop Continued...
04/06/05 - Just A Quick, Discreet Purchase At The Sex Shop...
04/05/05 - Sex In The White House
04/04/05 - My Most Depressing Comic Ever.
03/31/05 - YOU BLEW IT ALL UP!!! DAMN YOU!!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!!
03/28/05 - If You Lived Here, You'd Be Dead Right Now.
03/28/05 - The Circle of Life.
03/27/05 - I'm Stuck In My Own Private Idaho
03/26/05 - Personified Dinosaurs Discuss Prejudice, Sexuality, and Sin.
03/25/05 - Christians Hate Jesus Christ Superstar, Euthanasia, and Fun.
03/24/05 - Your Aristocat Deserves Only The Finest In Dried Cuisine.
03/23/05 - Jed's Interstellar Sexual Misadventures
03/22/05 - Nirvana Is Overrated Anyways.
03/20/05 - How Many Peeps Must Die For Your Sacred Traditions?
03/19/05 - Travis Garden Finds One of The Few Attractive People In CDA
03/18/05 - The Horror Club 8: Not As Bad As Leprechaun 7
03/17/05 - The Suicidal Penguin
03/16/05 - Kids need Jesus Juice, not candy... Scratch That, Reverse It
03/16/05 - Travis Garden Recalls The Worst Moments Of His Life
03/15/05 - Travis Garden's Interpretation of Josh's Idea For A Comic
03/15/05 - Disney's Conspiracy Against Mothers
03/14/05 - The Horror Club7:Zombie Slaying Nympho Chainsaw Cheerleaders
03/11/05 - Travis Garden Goes Out To Sea
03/08/05 - Last Temptation of The Christ Gets Even More Contraversial
03/07/05 - Travis Garden Doesn't Pay For His Supertramp.
03/07/05 - The Horror Club 6: Night Of The Braindead College Kids
03/06/05 - The Horror Club 5: Max Meets Katharine Isabelle
03/05/05 - Tony's Crematory - You love 'em We Burn 'em!
03/05/05 - Travis Goes Through His Kid Size Bottles of Hard Liquor
03/05/05 - Travis Garden Learns The Truth About Everything
03/04/05 - Personified Dinosaurs Discuss Sex, Self-hatred, And Suicide.
03/03/05 - The Horror Club 4: Skin Ripping Nymphs From Hell
03/01/05 - Rob And Frank Gots The Dead Shrimp Blues
03/01/05 - Personified Dinosaurs Discuss Life, Death, And Love.
02/27/05 - Travis Garden Checks Out Impressionism
02/26/05 - Travis Garden Is No Gary Larson
02/25/05 - Travis Garden's Comic Gets Naughty!
02/25/05 - Horror Club Meeting #3
02/21/05 - Fear And Loathing In Seattle
02/21/05 - Travis Garden's Horrifying Weekend With Josh
02/17/05 - Paris Hilton Tries To Be The American Princess Di
02/15/05 - The Only Three Females Travis Garden Talked To Today
02/14/05 - Travis Garden Bops Out Of Boredom
02/09/05 - My Fuck Off
02/08/05 - Unpleasant Surprises At CP For Travis, Justin, and John.
02/05/05 - Ossie Davis, A Great Man, Show Some Respect!
02/03/05 - Valentine's Day Is The Loneliest Day of All For Some People
02/01/05 - Bad Boys Bad Boys Whatchya Want To Do?
01/31/05 - Travis Garden is five foot' ten.
01/30/05 - You Treat My Heart Like A Gizzard
01/27/05 - Travis Garden Wants Some Weed
01/26/05 - Travis Garden Is Depressed And Worried As You Can Tell
01/24/05 - Travis Garden And The Future Of Generation-X
01/23/05 - Travis Garden's Explanation For Not Getting A Job At CP
01/21/05 - Travis Garden's Day In A Nutshell.
01/20/05 - Travis Garden's Irrelevance On A Relevant Topic
01/19/05 - Analyzing The Genetics of Travis Garden
01/19/05 - Travis Garden's Delicious And, Fun Comic Strip
01/19/05 - Alcoholism in Travis Garden's Group of Friends And Family
01/11/05 - Travis Garden's Unlikely Survival In The Wild
01/10/05 - Travis Garden Battles The Cold Virus
01/08/05 - Travis Garden's Attempt At Anti-Depressant Marketing
01/06/05 - The Tribulations of Heaven And Hell Within Travis Garden
01/06/05 - What is Travis Garden really thinking?
01/03/05 - Hypocrites And Parents of Travis Garden
01/02/05 - The Sad And Beautiful World of Travis Garden
01/01/05 - The Three Panel Odyssey of Travis Garden
01/01/05 - New Years 2005 and Travis Garden's Sexual Frustration
12/31/04 - Travis Garden's More Weird Than Funny Online Comic Strip
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