Well, my box of Sara Lee Herring Pie came with a gift certificate for a free office visit, so I thought I'd see you about my, uh, chronic nocturnal problem.
I recommend that we amputate your skinflute.
Amputate?! Hell, no! There must be something else that can be done! Can't you prescribe something?
I'm sorry, but if you read the gift certificate's fine print, you'll see that it only covers amputations, Band-Aids, earmuffs, and lollipops. Need some earmuffs?
This sucks, but it's still better than my old HMO!
