In honour of the Prime Minister giving himself a 42% raise, I give you this comic. I know it's set in the US, but Dubya as a character is far more interesting, and none of the pictures look anything like our PM.

Comic Contest 35: This one's to you, Jean. by BigEvilDan 6-08-01

Kill them! Holy shit! Big screen TV's, ripe for the stealin'! Burn them!! I don't get it, Senator. Why're they riotin' and turnin' on old Dubya? I told you the "Dubya needs a new yacht" tax would piss people off.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

How's ol' PM Jean Poutine doing these days?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

CC35: Tyrell's Imminent Death by wirthling 6-09-01

There's nothing quite like a dinner cruise! The merlot was a delectable accompaniment to that succulent filet mignon, don't you agree, Muffy, my sweet? Um, that wasn't a merlot, dear - you just drank your own urine. And that wasn't filet mignon - it was Lord Buxton. And thanks for not saving me any, you fat bastard. Oh yeah, that's right - we've been adrift in the ocean for 3 weeks and we've been reduced to eating our dead friends. Thanks for bringing me back to reality, bitch. Don't mention it, Captain Impotent. By the way, I've been sleeping with Tyrell, the cabin boy. Well, Jesus Crackwhore Christ.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

CC35: Ridi, Pagliaccio. by ObiJo 6-09-01

Laugh, clown! Though your heart is FOOOOF! Oh, Jesus H. Christ, lord god almighty. Cracker just farted up in here. Excuse me. Little late for that, foghorn. The entire first row is dropping like flies thanks to that D-flat. What are you doing on the stage? This comedy is finished, hoss. Let's grab that big bitch that played your wife and make our way over to the portico. With her as a body shield, we may just get out of here alive.

Damn, I made my strip before seeing wirthling's post. But I guess you can never have to many Jesus Christ references. Either way it's good to see the imminent death strip back again.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Eeep!

But I have NEVER used donkey sodomy in my comics! by PoKeE 6-10-01

Just the other day, at Spago.... So I'm watching Aida at the Met, last Tuesday, when I notice someone is waving for my attention from the next booth... Word, yo, mah bruthah! Who wuz it? I put down my glasses and looked, and it was Snow, that annoying Cannuck rapper. Word, why can't the honkies be keepin' it real? They ain't from the hood, like us, know whut I'm sayin'? Tut tut, Charles. isn't that the pot calling the kettle white? *ziiiip* White THIS mah bruthah!

I had to at least give it a shot. I hope the implied grotesquery in the last frame counts....

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=21371

CC35 - The part of Helmut should be read w/ a British accent by evil_d 6-10-01

Enjoy your evening at the theater, sir. It's not meant to be "enjoyed", Johnson, it's High Art...! Oh, never mind, you wouldn't understand. Listen, do try and take care of my new life-sized replica of Michaelangelo's "Pieta" while I'm out. I guess that means I shouldn't screw your wife on it like last night, then? ...I'm sorry, did I say that out loud? Johnson!! If I hadn't lost the use of my right arm in that yachting accident, I'd thrash you soundly!

Theater, classical sculpture, yachting, adultery, debasement, blasphemy, and aristocrats getting hurt. And I thought I'd have trouble fitting four themes in.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Wow, this one was hard to judge.

I was tempted to give it to Gabe for fine writing and an embarrassment of creativity in achieving the impossible. But he won last time.

I liked NastyPope's, but it got DQ'd on a slight technicality: Being sodomized by a large flightless bird = bestiality.

Nods also to the phrases "Jesus Crackwhore Christ," "While fisting the Dutchess of York," and "I wanna beat her high round ass with a fist full of car antennas." Also to the notion of adulterizing someone's spouse on the Pieta. All are deserving of victory.

But the prize goes to the richest, most aromatic abrogation of taste:

CC35: Chuck Steak (well done) by kaufman 6-07-01

Hey Stepinfetchit, be a good chap and bring me shome more *hic* wine. None of that Chablis shite, either, makes my farts smell like dog snot. I'm not a waiter, limey idiot. Yesh, I am Prince Charles. Ears tip you off? Sorry about the vomit, but it's good your tits hang so low so it didn't hit your shoes. See, I crossed the pond on my yacht to escape the folks rioting Lord, strike me down! 'cause I was fooking my mum in front of her hubby, and OWWW! I said strike ME down you incompetent excuse for a deity!

What can I say? What could anyone say? Now, Kaufman, you have won two of the last four contests, and if there's one thing we hate, it's a dynasty, so you'll have to make an effort to be less funny.

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What others say about boorite!

Oh sure, blame it on me. Best as I can tell, it was those judges' fault. But tell you what... I can almost guarantee I won't win #36.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com