quote:
Five worst things about living on Jupiter:
5. Never mind the high gravity; those horizontal orange stripes make you look fat too.
4. It's a half hour since the big game ended, and due to the speed-of-light delay for tv sgnals coming from earth, you still don't know who won.
3. At least two Starbucks on every street corner.
2. Methane atmosphere causes you to field constant accusations of flatulence.
1. You only get birthday presents once every 12 years.
9. There's no glass ceiling in the business world on Jupiter, but the higher you climb the corporate ladder, the harder it gets to communicate. Yeah, a lot less gassin' at the top of Jupiter...
Plus the office parties are rubbish up there - no atmosphere...
8. Worse than that, drop down a couple of rungs, and the pressure increases until eventually, you're completely crushed by it.
7. Teenagers on Earth get acne that lasts about 5 years if they're're lucky. On Jupiter, everyone's got a great red spot, twice the size of the Earth, that's been there for hundreds of years...
6. Earthers and Jovians alike work 8 hours every day. Trouble is, you only get 2 free hours before the next one begins...
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Please replace the handset, and try again.
