Joey the rocket scientist, after an exhaustive job search, thought he'd finally found his niche at Uranus, Inc. Being so well qualified that he met the standards of NASA, however, he discovered this new job wasn't quite what he was... looking for.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

Oh baby! You know what I like!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

German circus.

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Poop.

By the time that Penny realised that the spa's skin treatment methods were not only unorthodox, but just plain dangerous, it was too late for a refund.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

-ELEPHANTS EAT PEOPLE????

-The old pull-my-trunk gag ends in a fatality.

-Buried deep under a ton of elephant shit, Ralph was formulating the plan that would introduce his stomping boots to a certain travel agent's ass.

-It'd been a hard battle, and there'd been some losses along the way. Rico, most notably. If it wasn't for Rico, they knew they'd all be dead. They thanked him in their prayers nightly. But there was no looking back now. Only forward. To a better future. To the revolution they'd just begun.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Only the good die dung. -- ode to kaufman

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

-- The truth about the Republican Party

-- ... and his lesser known brother Dungo.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The result of David Blaine's "Choose My Next Trick" poll.

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I has a flavor!

"Would you put that fucking camera down and get this shit off me!"

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Poop.

Not only was he covered in elephant shit, he was about to get reamed in the ass by a huge falling arrow

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

HAHAHAHA!!!

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

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Appleart

Each year, numerous lives are lost just to bring "veggie burgers" to your grocer's freezer.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

Bernie began to rethink his months of begging to be in charge of something bigger than the hamsters.

"No, dammit, I said 'Sit!' 'SIT!!!'"

To add insult to injury, after they dug him out they made him put all the shit back where it came from.

Suddenly, the lasanga stain from lunch wasn't so important.

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

"Find a penny, pick it up. Then all day you'll have good luck."

Sadly...Ernie lived by these words, but was able to pay his $.01 toll into Heaven.

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- 4 Reel

Who knew circus dwarves were indigestible?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

No matter how much he talked it up, no one wanted to live in Abdul's shit igloo with him.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I dunno, I just think that picture is a total load of shit.

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I has a flavor!