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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

I told you you shouldn't have washed yourself at 40 degrees.

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

Two of the participants show up for the police lineup.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

One of these bitches is named Helga. Wanna guess which?

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Coming this December: Twins 2!

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

Call it a hunch, but I think Dr. Evil has been taking estrogen treatments for his baldness.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

A local biotech firm has announced today that their profits rose dramatically after they had perfected a process that allowed them to clone actual attractive women from leftover barrels of Anna Nicole Smith's ass fat. Seen here are models "Pookie 1.0" amnd "Pookie 1.1 beta"

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Bring your own lunch.

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

Budweiser begins their new marketing campaign aimed the nesting doll demographic.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Desktop whore and laptop whore.

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What others say about boorite!

You mean Russian doll? Did you rename them nesting dolls in the Eighties for the same reason chips are 'freedom fries' now? The same reasoning as for Turkish Delight being Cypriot Delight in Cyprus? It's like P.C. only rightwing - seemingly.

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I am a Strange One/'His world is small.'/ 'I love hunting foxes - Ginger Bastards!'/ 'They weren't aiming at us, Not at my house' - Dead Prez/ The Pravda-Raï Party: Triumphing over Diversity

Yep, I couldn't remember the name of those things. I was calling them Russian dolls as well but a girl I work with calls them nesting dolls, so I went with the expert. I was thinking that they might have changed the name to nesting dolls when they stopped calling it Russia and they didn't want to call them United Soviet Republic dolls (isn't that what the rest of the world calls Russia now?). Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Erm...it was still called Russia, it's just it's empire was called the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.

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I am a Strange One/'His world is small.'/ 'I love hunting foxes - Ginger Bastards!'/ 'They weren't aiming at us, Not at my house' - Dead Prez/ The Pravda-Raï Party: Triumphing over Diversity

I still want to crawl all over that big lady.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

And yet I like the small one. She looks nimble, and how many times do you get to use that word? Nimble. Anyway, if we ever find them, maybe we can double date. You don't, by any chance, look like a bigger version of me, do you?

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.