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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

"a hippo with a gag reflex that automatically caused her to swallow?"

I think we've found a creature on this planet that'll give boinky a blow-job!

Wait...are you sure this isn't my ex-girlfriend?

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

"Once the spectators realised that there, indeed, had been a tragic mistake, the quieted down briefly and then went TOTALLY APESHIT with applause. The dwarf's widow left the arena in tears, flipping off the crowd repeatedly."

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Now the dwarf knows how that guy passed by an elephant feels.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

____

"We gotta put 'er down."

"But, dad, why?"

"The taste of dwarf, son. Changes a hippo."

____

To this day, people still call getting eaten by a hippo an Od way to die.

____

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

-It'd been a hard battle, and there'd been some losses along the way. Od, most notably. If it wasn't for Od, they knew they'd all be dead. They thanked him in their prayers nightly. But there was no looking back now. Only forward. To a better future. To the revolution they'd just begun.

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Dad was flammable

hAw!

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

HAH!

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

I've swallowed a dwarf before. Then he gave me ten bucks.

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Appleart

Boss, Boss, Da hippo! Da hip...BRAAAAAPPPP!

--Original draft of the script for Fantasy Island

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Coming Soon: "Hungry Hungry Hippos: Od Edition!" Now the white plastic marbles are clear, with mini-dwarves in each! Hours of fun!

Reports that Od dived in on purpose to save his save his embarrasment after shitting his pants are as of yet, unsubstantiated.

-----------------------------

Lt Columbo has arrested the hippo after it's alibi involving a gag reflex that automatically causes her to swallow was disproven. Lt Columbo has not yet confirmed that Domino pizza was involved.

------------------------------

Doctors say that the hippos stomach acids will make Od look 20 years younger when he emerges, they said " He will be totally indistinguishable from a 5 year-old child right down to the vague aroma of shit."

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Pursuant to my duties as Secretary of Wet Blanketry, I am compelled to reveal that this news story is a fake. It's a joke that was mistakenly picked up as real by a couple of Aussie newspapers.

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

I've been set up the bomb no less? No but really duh.
C'mon man trampoline + forensic analysis?
"Vets said it was 1st time the hefty veggie had ever eaten a circus performer"
All I wanna know is if there was anybody in here who actually thought that story was real.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

You know that hippos kill more people per year than any other animal in Africa? That both surprised me and put that "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas" song in a much more sinister light.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

How much more sinster was this light you speak of?

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Pretty sinister, bucko.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Yes, she takes after our mother.

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Who, coincidentally, was also a dwarf-eating hippo.

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

quote:

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I've been set up the bomb no less? No but really duh.
C'mon man trampoline + forensic analysis?
"Vets said it was 1st time the hefty veggie had ever eaten a circus performer"
All I wanna know is if there was anybody in here who actually thought that story was real.

---

Dude, I totally know what you mean. It's like, you typed it, and I knew what it was you were saying. Doesn't language just blow your minds? I mean, what is it? Why is it such a good medium for communicating?

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GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

Huh?

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"And Wirthling isn't worth the paper he isn't printed on."

Dude. You're stoned.

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.