The rules are simple. From the five comics I have selected:

Giles...losing it :) by chays01 8-06-02

Giles, in the zone... Yes, I'm kicking all your asses. Bow down you biatches! Vikaden is the winner I knew that skipping work this week and playing 96 hours straight would help!!! HEADSHOT! Die you Mutha's!!, Vikaden is gonna rip you a new one! ...WTF, you stupid computer!!! Beginning physical memory dump...

Cooking With Clango by avoid 8-06-02

Clango teaches Rube how to add a pinch of salt. Pinch it ... Like this? Wrong hand... oh. You got it. I am so happy...

CC88: Why must the good die young? by KajunFirefly 12-25-01

what appears to be the problem officer? you were doing 90mph in a 40 zone, I'm gonna need to take your name sir. my name? Why, I'm Saint Nicholas don't you know? good-old Chris Cringle? Santa_Claus? very amusing sir, if you'd like to just get into the back of the car, we can sort this out down at the station. This is all my fault, I shouldn't have been giving him a festive blow-job! save me Legolas!

man@work by artificial 11-01-01

uNnAmED sitzt auf einer bank und denkt sich nichs böses als ... hey *narfnarf* ich bin man@work *narfnarf* das sprechende eichhörnchen *narfnarf* *narfnarf* das MÜSSEN einfach wahnvorstellungen sein ... hallo ? *narfnarf* uNnAmED ? *narfnarf*

Make an alternate ending. Or an alternate beginning. Or an alternate middle. Two panels remain the same, the last is up to you. I'm sure this idea has been done before, but I like it, so I'm doing it.

Judging will be Saturday at noon Central Standard Time.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Can we change the titles?

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Getting the obvious out of the way...

Cooking With Clango by ObiJo 9-23-03

Clango teaches Rube how to masturbate. Pinch it ... Like this? Wrong hand... oh. You got it. I am so happy...

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I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

Please feel free to change the titles. Sorry the comics are so useless. I picked 5 random numbers to see what would come up.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

Tard Boy and Finkelman by kaufman 9-23-03

The economy is so bad, the food industry is grinding up their mascots and packaging them. So that was bits of leprechaun in my Lucky Charms this morning. I read that Ronald McDonald is now Big Macs, and that poor Taco Bell Chihuhua ... Did you know him? No. Me either. Let's go have a taco.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 212: What has we gots in our bloodstreamses? by kaufman 9-23-03

what appears to be the problem officer? you were doing 90mph in a 40 zone, I'm gonna need to take your name sir. I don't care if it is the Halloween party, Sam. Didn't I tell you not to put Tom Bombadil's mushrooms into the punch? Look at Gandalf and Boromir over there! I'm sorry, Master Frodo. I didn't realize it would turn out this way. Speaking of which, have you seen Gollum and Gimli? This is all my fault, I shouldn't have been giving him a festive blow-job! save me Legolas!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Oh, and here is the original idea I stole this idea from.

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Mediocrity at its most average.

CC212: Tard Boy and Finkelman by Matchbook_Romance 9-23-03

I can't believe Finkelman is dead. I know. It's such a shock. So do you want to dig up his body, hump it, set it on fire and dance around it while the ashes rise into the midnight sky? No. Me either. Let's go have a taco.

Damn you kaufman... =D

CC212: Homoerotic Tadboy and Finkleman by CrunchyCheese 9-23-03

I can't believe Finkleman is dead I know. It's such a shock I always thought he was really hot. I used to fantasize about what he looked like naked. He was magnificent. Hung like a mule. Not that I notice that sort of thing. Me either Let's go have a taco.

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There's a fine line between visionary and wacko ~ greinhart

WATCH ME LOSE, GIRLS by akirajim 9-23-03

Clango teaches Rube how to jack off the invisible man. Pinch it ... Like a loaf? Wrong hand... oh. You got it. I am so happy...

Made before I saw ObiJo's...

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~But now you realize / He's not selling any alibis~

CC 212: *NarfNarf* by Chi_The_Cynic 9-23-03

A demonstration of the old adage concerning German humour Hey, Gabe, tell me that joke again, but say it German! I bet it won't be funny when you do! *narfnarf* das MÃœSSEN einfach wahnvorstellungen sein ... hallo ? *narfnarf* uNnAmED ? *narfnarf*

CC 212: Tard Boy and Finkelman by BigEvilDan 9-23-03

I can't believe Finkelman is dead. I know. It's such a shock. You mean you weren't the one who poisoned his food? No. Me either. Let's go have a taco.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC 212: Giles...transcending it :) by habnem 9-23-03

Giles, in the zone... Yes, I'm kicking all your asses. Bow down you biatches! Vikaden is the winner I knew that skipping work this week and playing 96 hours straight would help!!! HEADSHOT! Yes! I've done it! I've beaten everyone in the world and attained Quake III Arena nirvana! And for some reason, now I can see into John Carmack's bathroom. Your handle is misspelled, you idiot. Could you throw me some toilet paper?

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

This 1937 film revealed the brewing German-Japanese alliance by kaufman 9-23-03

uNnAmED sitzt auf einer bank und denkt sich nichs böses als ... hey *narfnarf* ich bin man@work *narfnarf* das sprechende eichhörnchen *narfnarf* Aiiieeeeee! das MÜSSEN einfach wahnvorstellungen sein ... hallo ? *narfnarf* uNnAmED ? *narfnarf*

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 212: The Bet by kaufman 9-23-03

Giles, in the zone... Yes, I'm kicking all your asses. Bow down you biatches! Vikaden is the winner I knew that skipping work this week and playing 96 hours straight would help!!! HEADSHOT! Die you Mutha's!!, Vikaden is gonna rip you a new one! ...WTF, you stupid computer!!! You win, Emily. This year's WB schedule is actually light years stupider than last year's!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 212: man@work by BigEvilDan 9-23-03

uNnAmED sitzt auf einer bank und denkt sich nichs böses als ... hey *narfnarf* ich bin man@work *narfnarf* das sprechende eichhörnchen *narfnarf* *narfnarf* hallo ? *narfnarf* uNnAmED ? *narfnarf* This is the worst porn I've ever seen.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC212: Cocaine With Clango by Matchbook_Romance 9-23-03

Clango teaches Rube how to weigh cocaine on a triple-beam scale. Add two more grams... With this hand? Wrong hand... oh. You got it. I am so happy...

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Destroying my reputation one post at a time.

CC 212: Office Space by BigEvilDan 9-24-03

Giles, in the zone... Yes, I'm kicking all your asses. Bow down you biatches! Vikaden is the winner I knew that skipping work this week and playing 96 hours straight would help!!! HEADSHOT! Giles, that's not a game. It's Microsoft Word. It looks like I'm kicking your ass, Clippy! Who needs help now?

CC 212: Office Space by BigEvilDan 9-24-03

Giles, in the zone... Yes, I'm kicking all your asses. Bow down you biatches! Vikaden is the winner I knew that skipping work this week and playing 96 hours straight would help!!! HEADSHOT! Giles, that's not a game. It's Microsoft Outlook. Yes, and it's almost clear of spam.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC212: Tard Boy and The Temple of Doom by Digger 9-24-03

I knew him. Me too. Did you know him? No. Me either. Let's go have a taco.

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- 4 Reel

A Manwich is a Meal! by kaufman 9-24-03

Clango teaches Rube how to add a pinch of salt. Pinch it ... Like this? Wrong hand... oh. Here you go, Master. Dinner is ready. He really jumped into the pot? Hah. Those earthlings will never figure out that "To Serve Man" is a cookbook.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

might as well make it a complete set:

CC 212: I don't know how to make a tilde. by habnem 9-24-03

what appears to be the problem officer? you were doing 90mph in a 40 zone, I'm gonna need to take your name sir. my name? Why, I'm Saint Nicholas don't you know? good-old Chris Cringle? Santa_Claus? very amusing sir, if you'd like to just get into the back of the car, we can sort this out down at the station. By "sort this out," you mean "stuff me like a festive Christmas pinata," don't you? Naturally.

CC 212: man@work (in the cosmos) by habnem 9-24-03

uNnAmED sitzt auf einer bank und denkt sich nichs böses als ... hey *narfnarf* ich bin man@work *narfnarf* das sprechende eichhörnchen *narfnarf* You know, I've just had a moment of amazing lucidity. I've discovered that the meaning of life is to live-- --ethically whilst forming one's own viable philosophy, then pass it along to the next generation? I figured that out years ago. Let's talk about something else. das MÜSSEN einfach wahnvorstellungen sein ... hallo ? *narfnarf* uNnAmED ? *narfnarf*

CC 212: Dancing with Clango by habnem 9-24-03

Clango fulfills his community service sentence by teaching the elderly colloquial dances. Now that you've finally mastered the hokey-pokey, we can move on to the Macarena. Like this? Wrong hand. Oh. You got it. I am so happy...

CC 212: Tard and Tarder. by habnem 9-24-03

I can't believe Finkelman is dead. I know. It's such a shock. Did you know him? No. Me either. So what exactly are we doing here? We can't hang out at your house because your mom caught us taking pictures of her while she was asleep.

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- christ@myself.com - fuck a cat, kill yourself - my alter ego has five stars

CC212: Tard Boy and Finkleman by UnknownEric 9-24-03

I can't believe Finkleman is dead. I know. It's such a shock. Wow, doesn't it seem like just yesterday he was tied up on the floor, being anally penetrated by TOBOR while you jacked off into his hair. Umm... I never did that with him. Me either. Let's go have a taco.

Sorry. That no profanity rule in the Cup made me lash out here. :)

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I has a flavor!

CC 212: man@work Redux by jes_lawson 9-24-03

uNnAmED sitzt auf einer bank und denkt sich nichs böses als ... hey *narfnarf* ich bin man@work *narfnarf* das sprechende eichhörnchen *narfnarf* I know, I KNOW! You've been saying that to me every time I sit here for the last 3 years. Wait...what exactly does *narf* mean? Well lets see...It's like...ZORT! or, um...*poink*! Or "f'tang f'tang wibble!" das MÜSSEN einfach wahnvorstellungen sein ... hallo ? *narfnarf* uNnAmED ? *narfnarf*

CC 212: Zoinks! by jes_lawson 9-24-03

what appears to be the problem officer? you were doing 90mph in a 40 zone, I'm gonna need to take your name sir. my name? Why, I'm Saint Nicholas don't you know? good-old Chris Cringle? Santa_Claus? very amusing sir, if you'd like to just get into the back of the car, we can sort this out down at the station. And I would have got away with it too, if it hadn't of been for you meddling kids! Rooby-Rooby-Rooo!

CC 212: Dr. Seuss Redux (Save me, Legolas!) by jes_lawson 9-24-03

what appears to be the problem officer? you were doing 90mph in a 40 zone, I'm gonna need to take your name sir. my name? Why, I'm Saint Nicholas don't you know? good-old Chris Cringle? Santa_Claus? very amusing sir, if you'd like to just get into the back of the car, we can sort this out down at the station. Grinch, you bastard! You set me up! You'll never get away with this! Ha ha ha! Tell it to the judge, fat boy!

CC 212: Machiavellian Tard Boy and Finkelman by jes_lawson 9-24-03

I can't believe Finkelman is dead. I know. It's such a shock. A shock? You were the one who tied him up and force fed him Mexican! You know we're fatally allergic to that stuff! But you just inherited his pornographic Pokémon cards, and I get those when you die! I don't think that's a bad deal for either of us! Me either Let's go have a taco.