Kaufman's comic gave me an idea. Kind of like a contest, only here everyone's a winner. Just like at the special olympics. The concept is a simple one. Take a movie of your choice and compress it into a single comic. Like so...

Psycho in Three Frames. by kaufman 8-02-01

What a nice hotel! I think I'll just take a shower. o/` EEE-EEEE-EEE-EEEE-EEE-EEEE-EEE-EEEE-EEEEEE o/` Norman, you come in right now! You have a hotel to manage. Ok, mom.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

Hmmm...

WaterWorld by gabe_billings 8-02-01

I'm Kevin Costner. I live on a funny boat with my citrus tree and I drink my own urine. Hey? Are those gills? Prepare to be repressed! I've escaped! Now where the hell is Jeanne Tripplehorn? She's got nice boobs. I dunno. Hey, did you see who moved into the oil tanker next door? That guy from Speed that blows up buses! Wow. What a great movie. What do we owe? Um... Thirty four cents. No wait, that's the stamp. Here we are. 174 million dollars.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

I've done a few of these ... with some, like this one, you probably need to have seen the movie.

Memento: The Graphic Novel by kaufman 5-15-01

I shot him. I shot him dead! I've finally avenged my wife's murder. gllurg May I help you? Yes, I'd like to have a tattoo on my arm, reading as follows: ... I'm in a hotel room, but where? And Why?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

It's a Graphic, Graphic, Graphic, Graphic Novel by kaufman 6-06-01

I hid a bunch of money -- ungh -- under a Big W. A big W? Where? You can't die yet! Ok, we got to the park, but what could that dead guy have been talking about? I have no idea. We'll never find his money.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Wizard of Oz in Three Frames by kaufman 6-15-01

Dorothy, If you ride that dog around here again, I'll make you so sorry. Oh Mr. Wizard, can you help me get back to Kansas? GET THAT DOG AWAY FROM MY CURTAIN AND WE'LL TALK! Are you all right, Dorothy? Whoa, what a dream. And you were in it ...

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Bah! You should read more books!

Besides, this piece of crap was one of my first comics and I've been waiting for a chance to post it for general derision.

Cliff Notes in 3 panels Vol. 1 -- The Metamorphosis by Drexle 6-02-01

My name is Gregor Samsa. I've metamorhposed into a bug. Mmmyep. I am you Father! I throw apples at you! You're worthless and I hate you! Sister, please stay here with me! I love you and appreciate you, not like those roomers. And look, my room has become a trashpile for all their old junk! Yeah, they're right bastards! They're even refusing to pay for room all because of you! We must get rid of you! You're not my Brother! Well, he starved himself to death, and Dad kicked out the roomers. Mom, Dad, and I rode away and then at the end of the ride I stretched my beautiful body! (Author's Note -- Dear god this comic sucked ass.... *Drexle*)

A Clockwork Apple by Drexle 8-02-01

Hello, oh my brothers. I hope your evening is nice and horrorshow. Shall we go out for some ultraviolence, and some of the ol' twenty to one? Ack! Me droogies have betrayed me! I just tapped that woman on the head a bit! I didn't mean to kill her! I've been rottin' away in prison... I've taken a liking to the bible, and I viddi in my gulliver being there, givin' Jesus a beating. They tried to make me a good little boy by showing making me sick at the sight of the red red krovy, and at the sweet sounds of Ludwig Van. It's inhuman!!! Me M&P have given up on me, me old droogs have joined the millicents, and your 'umble narrator is just about to snuff it at the hands of an old victim. Layin' in the stretcher, I talked to the nice people and then all of a sudden, I had me old nice and horrorshow thoughts back! I was cured allright...

I've seen Pink Floyd's The Wall about 16 times. I suppose it's endemic to my occupation, but this film just drains me. This is but a slice. Very apropos, however. If this isn't the core message of the film, it's one of the major themes.

Ladles and gentlemints, comic # 2092.

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I wanted my half in the middle and I wound up on the edge.

Denis Leary's five-second plot synopsis of a Doors movie by evil_d 8-03-01

I'm drunk I'm nobody I'm drunk I'm famous I'm drunk I'm fucking dead.

If you've never seen/heard Denis Leary's "No Cure for Cancer", here's the script.

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The what mentioned above is total fiction. Please don't take it seriously!

Movie in 3 panels: Toy Story 2 by boorite 3-28-01

Not shown: Pointless Buzz Lightyear action sequence. Mom, I broke my Woody! Shit! Andy's going to Cowboy Camp without me. I'll probably sit on this shelf and rot like this useless penguin. Oops, sorry, penguin. Woody is stolen by that fat bastard from Seinfeld. While Woody's friends undertake a comical quest to save him... Newman! I'm a cowgirl. Howdy, howdy, howdy. Now I shall burst into song. Sadly, I could not keep watching. Tra-la-la... Excuse me. BLEEEAAAAARGH!

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What others say about boorite!

Movie in three panels: Basquiat by boorite 3-28-01

We are here to watch famous dead painter Jean Michel Basquiat get famous and die. Graffitti tagging is fun, but I'd score more groupies and drug money with incomprehensible paintings that resemble stomach contents. You're a TOOL. Goodbye. Spigot = Bowie = Warhol Gee, now that I've stepped on all my friends, and the art world has inexplicably soiled its panties over my work, I think I'll have a whiny angst fit. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. I dunno. Ooh. I dunno what's good anymore. Tyler = Dennis Hopper Didn't you hear? Warhol is dead. Oh, shit. Me, too.

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What others say about boorite!

Movie in Three Panels: Wonder Boys by boorite 3-26-01

[CUE OSCAR-WINNING SONG] Hnnnrrnnh unna mumma, things have changed. I'm trying to write a novel about a novelist trying to write a novel. That's 'cuz I'm baked as a fucking lasagna. I am a dark and brooding young talent. Maybe your ganja will cause me to lighten the fuck up. I HATE self-absorbed old stoners! Plus he's boning my master's wife! GRRR! KILL! Bang. Dead dog. What the hell was I just doing in bed with Robert Downey, Jr? Oh look, here's the cops. Finally. You got me fired, punk, but I'm still dorking the Chancellor. Hotcha!

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What others say about boorite!

I really should have let crabby do this one, but he gets all the inspirational credit.

Deep Throat in Three Frames by kaufman 8-03-01

Doctor, for some reason, I'm never sexually satisfied ... I never see fireworks. It's no wonder; your clitoris is lodged in the bottom of your throat! Hello, Miss, want to give some action to my ten inches of throbbing manhood? I DO TOO SUCK DICK!!! I DO TOO SUCK DICK!!!!!!!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

I've made a plethora of strips vaguely relating to the anime Fist of the North Star, one of the most unintentionally amusing films of all time. Sadly, most of the strips I've made about FotNS are unintentionally unamusing.

I wish you could get a "rushing lines" backdrop by andydougan 4-22-01

In a post-apocalyptic future, grotesquely muscled thugs slaughter one another for no apparent reason. Kenshiro! You've become successor to Hokuto Shin Ken, but you're no match for the Nanto Sei Ken style! Shin! Have you forgotten the code? North and South shall not fight! I've ignored that crap a long time ago! Nanto Hellkill Fist!

The interesting grammar is not mine, it's actual dialogue from the film.

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly Comic by Spankling 8-03-01

I'm getting rich turning you in for the reward money then setting you free by shooting the rope in two. Too bad we're dying of thirst. Let's rest by that wagon, Blondie! Maybe they have water - or knowledge of a treasure. Aren't you going to torture me like you did Tuco? ________________ Probably not. Would you talk if I did? ________________ I didn't think so. Here's a nice meal. Where's the money? Wow! You shot Angel Eyes! Hey! There's no bullets in my gun! Stand on that tomb stone with a rope around your neck while I ride off. I'll take a shot at the rope from horseback from a crazy distance away.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Three-Panel Blazing Saddles by kaufman 8-04-01

You wanted to speak to me, Hedy? Yeah, I want you to send the worst possible sheriff to Rock Ridge so we can build the railroad through. And it's HEDLEY! Hi, I'm your new sheriff. You're black! Well, I saved your town from the railroad. What do you think of me now? You're still black ... but you're OUR sheriff!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Three panels don't do justice to Airplane! by kaufman 8-04-01

Surely all the pilots wouldn't have eaten and been poisoned by the fish! That's exactly what I'm saying! And don't call me Shirley. Meanwhile in the control tower... There's a sale on at Penney's! Oh no! The automatic pilot's broken! Just a little leak ... reinflate me, and I'll be fine.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

If your looking to post CSC30K, this one came in at 29994.

Being "Being John Malkovich" by kaufman 8-06-01

Look, there's a door to a tunnel leading out of this office. I'm going in to see where it leads. Whoa, I'm inside John Malkovich's head! I can see and hear what he does, and even influence his thoughts Fifteen minutes later, somewhere beside the New Jersey Turnpike... Oof, wasn't ready for that drop.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Citizen Kane 2K by ElTigreMask2K 8-03-01

RoseBud!

Comics2K

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Menthol?

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=30085

Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clowns by descolada99 8-07-01

Shit! You mean it's "clones", not "clowns"?!

That's gotta be the dumbest title yet - "Attack Of The Clones" gah... sounds like some stupid B movie.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

quote:

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Shit! You mean it's "clones", not "clowns"?!

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No Point of Returning to See It. (The original is better) by NastyPope 8-07-01

I'm a desperate phamacutical crack ho, DIE PIG!!! So what if you didn't execute me, I won't learn to be a sassy elloquente assassin without Nina Simone Dig my eurotrash accent and my mysterious eyes. Here is a present from your uncle binky, shoot that guy in the face... twice. I can't be your assassin. I love another. Your acid bath 'Cleaner' is dead and the job is finished. I'm done, I want out. Now maybe I can afford breast implants. I could kill her, I should kill her, but I love the nasty little crack ho. I'll tell my superiors she died in a clog dancing accident. Adieu my love... Adieu...

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

Should I be happy that this is comic #30100?

Being There by Spankling 8-07-01

The old man is dead and there isn't anyone here. And nothing much on TV. Guess I'll wonder the city for the first time in my life. o/` Basketball Jones.... o/` I like to watch. Sweet! I like to masterbate! Watch this! Hmm... a water lily needs tending. I'll just walk on water over to it because I'm too stupid (and pure) to realize I should fall in.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Gabe, you are officially a complete and utter bastard. About two months ago I came up with this for a contest - one rule, do a movie in three frames. Of course, my depressing inability to make a comic capable of winning a contest made it hard for me to... well, win a contest. *sigh*

Anyway, here's the strip I did ages ago that made me think of the three-panel movie as a good contest idea...

A movie in three panels: The Fly by DexX 1-28-01

In a secret laboratory Ewwww... he doesn't look like Jeff Goldblum... I'll just go and hop into my teleportation pod. Gee, hope nothing horrible happens. Woah! Teleportation is trippy! Ow, my DNA hurts... OK, I'm back. How do I look? Strangely enough, better than before...

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