Puppet: "Yes, Zaster! I'll be your valentine -- just please, open the chute!"

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

"first one who pulls the cord is a faggot."

---
GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

"You're right, Ivy, Utah does look boring from above. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. Now can I get back in the plane?"

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

-"No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to dive."

-The personality of the handpuppet, which was derived from Joe's overbearing mother, was doing its damndest to convince him both that he'd never amount to anything, and that his perfect brother Ralph would already be on the ground by now.

---
I ate a hooker half a bottle of knife.

"I'm Clark Cobb, from Cobb's Family Hardware. Me and Socko here want to tell you of the Christian Businessman's Annual Charity Case Skydivathon."

---
I has a flavor!

No.

Mick Foley: No Mr. Socko, falling off the cage in the Hell in the Cell match just wasn't enough. We need to take a fall that the fans will love. Have a nice day.

I thought you had the chute...

---
"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

News Reporter: Today Loe was married!!
News Reporter2: Its about time he got married to his right hand!

---
"Before you judge me take a look at you, cant you find something better to do"

- Suddenly aerial sock-puppet-masturbation suicide didn't seem like a hot idea anymore.

- Fuck you, Socko! You'll take it in the ass and LIKE IT!

---
"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

With famed puppeteer Shari Lewis in hysterics, an unidentified Delta Airlines passenger grabbed her beloved Lamb Chop, screamed "I got you now, bitch!" and leaped from the Boeing 727 at nearly 37,000 feet. It is still not clear if the abduction, caught on Flight 433 surveillance cameras, included the use of a parachute. "They just disappeared into a cloud!" wailed Lewis. "I lost sight of them." Police are asking anyone with information on the sheepnapping to call toll-free,
1(877)555-BAAH. There wool be a reward.

---
Love is like oxygen. You can take it up the ass, but it's way better in your mouth.

"How odd it is to bump into you up here Mr Snugglesworth!"