The Playboy Mansion sure has gone downhill since Hef's eyesight started to go.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Perhaps slightly less infamous than the Lizzy Borden slayings of 1892, was the murderous rampage of Little Bunny Foo Foo, circa November 1986. Enraged by the Good Fairy's constant reprimands for assaulting field mice, Foo Foo stole her magic wand and used it to bludgeon the Fairy and at least a dozen other unsuspecting victims to death. Above is an extremely rare photograph of Bunny's assassination attempt on a young Dave Grohl. Fortunately, Grohl survived this attack and went on to form a band of fearless resistance, the "Foo Foo Fighters" (you had to see that one coming!)

---
Love is like oxygen. You can take it up the ass, but it's way better in your mouth.

Patch Adams II - Office Clown
After one of his pranks resulted in his hospital blowing up, Robin Williams as Patch rebuilds his shattered life by working as a website designer for a small business. Grind your teeth as he annoys normal people by saying things like 'you don't have to be manic depressive to work here but it helps.'

---
GOVT. Warning: Do not smoke around children they will badger you for fags.

"A-ha! My eighth level were-rabbit sorcerer tranforms you into a mere office worker, and traps you in a Cubicle of Imprisonment!"

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

When Neil and Bob decided to role-play in their next intimate encounter, neither one counted on the GQ (Geek Quotient) playing such a factor. Although both thought they were being especially clever, 'Office Dork' and 'Rabbit Pixie' were just not attractive costumes.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

The ugly bunny-fairy returns to fulfil the curse she cast on David at his christening 18 years ago. For those not present on that special day, the curse first involves David feeling a little prick...

---
Carry the battle to them. Don't let them bring it to you. Put them on the defensive. And don't ever apologize for anything. - Harry S Truman, 33rd president of US (1884 - 1972)

Bruce decided he could do a better job than Cupid ever did for him.

---
i want to piss on you

"I had to settle for the wand because my mom was afraid I'd shoot my eye out."

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

This is my crazy dad, almost as goofy as me. He likes to dance round the office on friday afternoons sprinkling pixie dust on the workers of our office to wish them all a good weekend. On monday mornings he urinates on each desk to wish good luck for the week ahead.

"Can't we just pretend it's mistletoe, Dan?"

---
dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

The first day that President Bush's new "Gay Identification Initiative" goes into law.

---
I has a flavor!

Steven Spielberg finally makes his tribute to the homosexual community.

"Hey, look, it's a guy with a plastic wand and bunny ears, and there's probably some sort of homosexual connotation here."

Oh fuck it, I'll stick with what I know.

"TOBOR MANRAPE BUNNY-FAG!"

---
Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.