This is not a useless, nonsense thread, although it is not exactly essential to the existence of humanity. But I like the idea of this question, and I want to kind of make a game about it. I just hope no one loses interest before it's over. I'll start it off.

[list][*]A hypothetical fight is posted between two people and people must answer who would win and why.
[*]Every day a new fight will be posted
[*]The poster of the fight decides who offers the best explanation for which participant would win the fight
[*]Best explanation winner gets to post the next hypothetical battle
[*]If your explanation is selected as the best, but you can't post a new fight that day, please tey and designate someone to do it for you or at least give a time when you CAN post the fight.[/list]

First Fight:

Lara Flynn Boyle vs. Calista Flockhart

If anyone has any suggestions as to some cool stuff to do with this contest, just let me know.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

---
i want to piss on you

Dude, she had to bench-press a tomato for weeks just to be able to hold up that gun. Why would she win?

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

her daddy left her as a kid. laura grew up bitter in teh streets of chicago. david lynch saw the crazy bitch in her, so he hired her on twin peaks. and even if she doesn't win, uncle lynch will collect calista in jars for his collection of "organic phenomena."

---
i want to piss on you

Lara Flynn Boyle would win. Why? Because she has Laura Palmer's sunglasses.

---
I has a flavor!

It depends on the weapon. With guns, Calista's unhittable. With a scissors, it would be easy to snip her in half.

---
ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Callie can hork up stomach sludge on demand. I hope Lara is wearing cleats.

---
I was gonna send a robot back in time, but I got high.

Unless Calista had a rock.

---
"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

Unless Calista had a rock.

I doubt she could even pick UP a rock.

Here is my answer:

Lara Flynn Boyle would win. Why? Simply because she isn't the anorexic sweetheart Calista is. Calista now has a child, ergo she didn't birth it herself (that probably would have killer her). So Calista has gone soft. Kids change people. Lara's got alcoholism on her side, along with hard partying. She may be disgustingly thin, but she's has tough as rawhide. Plus she dated Jack. If she can date Jack, she can definitely kick Calista's ass. Lara also hangs with P. Diddy on occasion and we all know he's 'carrying'.

---
dcomposed:11-06-05: If I was a viking invading your village, you'd be the first to get raped.
Crabby: 10/5/06: i would love to feed you fresh fruit while bathing you.

who?

---
xx( o Y o. )xx

who?

What he said.

quote:

---

Callie can hork up stomach sludge on demand. I hope Lara is wearing cleats.

---

It's like fight club. Except not really.

---
I think, therefore I make comments on a forum.

Lara Flyn Boyle = convex ))

Colista Flockhart = concave ((

LFB = winner

---
Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Never mind if LFB is tough enough because she dated Jack. She can just ask him to break CF in two the night before.

---
...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

But what if Calista told her man to do the same thing? We'd have Indiana Jones vs. the Joker.

---
The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.