This girl, Betty (name changed to protect the non-innocent) is known throughout our school as a whore. She is always telling me, "Renee, if you weren't so anal-retentive, you would get laid because you're really pretty." And now she's pregnant, so here's my response to her. No people, I'm not trying to hurt anyone out there that's pregnant; this is just a couple of comebacks for the things she said today during homeroom that I wanted to say. Enjoy(or not).

Having a Baby: Part I by OMG_DaGmAr_6481987 4-07-04

Oh my gosh, that is so glamorous. Do you FEEL pregnant? Yeah. I don't remember whose it was though. We'll just see who it looks like when it pops out. I feel sorry for the baby... What do you think of Betty having a baby, Dagmar? Isn't it just so exciting? I think this is where I screwed up. Whore.

Having a Baby: Part II by OMG_DaGmAr_6481987 4-07-04

What I meant was, how are you going to pay for all the expenses of having a baby without a committed boyfriend and no help from your parents? I don't really care about money. I'll just skip out on some of the expenses. You're going to feed it, right?! I thought that part of the deal was free.

Having a Baby: Part III by OMG_DaGmAr_6481987 4-07-04

So what are you going to name it? Well, if it's a boy, I was thinking something like Mortimer. So everyone could call him Mort. Wouldn't that be cute? Why not choose something that the kid wouldn't be picked on for? Of course not. Okay okay. Maybe I should call him Brainard, so everyone can call him Nard.

Having a Baby: Part IV by OMG_DaGmAr_6481987 4-07-04

Betty, I think you should keep your grades up and go through college. That would be the best way to go. Maybe if you didn't allow guys to shove their dicks so far into you that they fuck your brains out, you would get good grades.   !   ... That was supposed to be a thought bubble. ...

The sex isn't the problem, Dagmar. It's the responsibility level of the participants. If this person and her partner(s) had been thoroughly protected, there is a much greater chance this pregnancy would not have occurred.

Please don't discourage other young ladies from allowing us piggish males to stick our dicks into them so far that we fuck their brains out. Just tell them to be safe about it, or give TONS of head.

Also, Part III was pretty funny.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Thanks. As I said before...anal-retentive. I'd rather not do it all to be safer.

I do believe that she's talking about a stupid little prep that does nothing but ridicule people of "lower" social classes and pick on people that actually want to keep their virginity and play it safe through abstinance.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Yeah, it doesn't do much good to look down on someone who wishes to safeguard their virginity. I do have a problem, though, with prim and prissy people who regard sexual people as 'beneath' them, or 'sluts'. This girl in question, though, was about 10 different girls in my high school.

This is my high school:
http://www.lhric.org/mtvernon/schindex.asp?School=Mount%20Vernon%20High%20School

What it fails to mention is that because of so much teenaged pregnancy, the school has an ON-SITE daycare facility for the children of students.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

quote:

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Yeah, it doesn't do much good to look down on someone who wishes to safeguard their virginity. I do have a problem, though, with prim and prissy people who regard sexual people as 'beneath' them, or 'sluts'. This girl in question, though, was about 10 different girls in my high school.

This is my high school:
http://www.lhric.org/mtvernon/schindex.asp?School=Mount%20Vernon%20High%20School

What it fails to mention is that because of so much teenaged pregnancy, the school has an ON-SITE daycare facility for the children of students.

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quote:

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This is my high school:
http://www.lhric.org/mtvernon/schindex.asp?School=Mount%20Vernon%20High%20School

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Hrm. Well, I guess the definition of promiscuity is subjective to all people. I see promiscuity as someone having a few consecutive sexual partners, perhaps even an endless string of them. I see a slut as someone who sleeps with a guy, then his best friend, then his dad, then his mom, etc. Although the last one would be hot, sleeping with multiple people (meaning sometimes overlapping them), especially with no regard for the feelings of others close tot hem that you may have had relations with, is definitely slutty.

Sleeping with ANYONE is pretty dangerous. Unfortunately, even though sex can still be dangerous with protection, and I am a staunch advocate of protection (although I fucking HATE condoms), I feel like I'm not living life if I am not with someone sexually. Sex with someone can totally be a mind-blowing experience.

Anyway, chicka, you can hardly be a slut. Did you sleep with eight guys and aren't sure which one is the father? That's pretty slutty. Especially if the guys are all in a group of friends.

But you aren't a slut and you know it. Unless you like Nate to call you that when you guys are making the beast with two backs. God, I love freaky chicks.

I made fun of virgins (even though I was one when I did), and I never ended up pregnant!

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Those comics were great. I hope you continue the series.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

:P bah.

No...I mean like when people make fun of someone for something and then something bad happens afterward.

This girl I used to know all through High School used to make fun of my looks all the time. Then one day in softball she got hit square in the nose. It shattered the bridge of her nose. Luckily for her, her Mommy and Daddy could buy her a new one. A girl made fun of my sis about her glasses in middle school...and then ended up with bad eyesight herself. A kid made fun of my bro when he dislocated his knee in wrestling, saying he was faking it. A week later, the kid ended up on crutches himself... ^-^ Someone's apparently lookin out for all us geeks...

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Noonie, that is what we like to refer to as 'karma'. I doubt karma a bit, because I've only seen it fulfilled a few times, but it sounds like you've got some pretty good examples of it.

But tons of people who deserve it don't get their comeuppance, at least not that I can see.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Wait a minute, wasn't that Marcia Brady? And it was a football, not a softball.

That would be her sister, Jan.

Bobby. It was worse. He got paralyzed in a car crash.

And then one of your schoolmates was bragging about how his dad could design a house by himself, and he wound up with an orange kitchen, an astroturf backyard, and nowhere to pee.

That would be Sherwood Schwartz. Go figure.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Wait a minute, wasn't that Marcia Brady? And it was a football, not a softball.

That would be her sister, Jan.

Bobby. It was worse. He got paralyzed in a car crash.

And then one of your schoolmates was bragging about how his dad could design a house by himself, and he wound up with an orange kitchen, an astroturf backyard, and nowhere to pee.

That would be Sherwood Schwartz. Go figure.

The sad thing is it was true experiances.

And, Mikey...they will get theirs in the end...what they don't pay now they will pay much much later.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

all this talk of sex might make me believe that someone on this website might be getting laid.

my vote is boinky

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xx( o Y o. )xx

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

Laid...on this site? ... People who really have nothing better to do than to sit around and make comics and post on the forums all day......

Riiiiiight....

As a generalized rule, if they talk about it way too much, they're not getting any.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

Considering that about half the people here are married,

You're probably right.

Only if by 'getting laid' you mean 'getting in the butt from the Harlem Globetrotters'.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Thanks for the image, MikeyG.

They Get You Every Time by kaufman 4-09-04

Master, I did it! I managed to receive anal sex from the Harlem Globetrotters. Excellent, Igor. Now I will be able to collect their precious jism, extract the DNA, and breed an army of superhuman basketball players! Just turn around, and let me collect ... IDIOT! That's not semen in you, it's confetti!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

As usual, I live only to serve the genius (pronounced with a Spanish accent, so it actually sounds like 'heenyoos') that is kaufman.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

IT'S A COOKBOOK!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

NO WAIT, IT'S A BOOK ABOUT HOW TO PLAY TENNIS!!!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

lol  a nun pregnant,id tap that

kaidenrocks

You would, wouldn't you? You dirty whore...

how do you get three characters in one comic block?

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hakuna mattata

since no one else will cop to it, i will...

I LOVE SLUTS!

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Kill Whitey.