Apparently, this is all you get win you win the Tour de France:

A stuffed lion and..what is that, brocolli? What did he do, win the ring toss twice at the county fair?

About the French, why is everyone in America suddenly so shocked to discover that the French are rude to Americans? I thought that was so much common knowledge it was cliche. Also they fucking smell.

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Vote Jeb Bush 2008

I bet if you firgure out the secret code word, the stuffed lion turns into Mecha-Godsimba and mauls the hell out of everything.

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AFROMANS MOVE

The secret word rhymes with 'blipshit'

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

Is it "dipshit"

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

quote:

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Is it "dipshit"

quote:

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AAAWWWW!!! MY EYE!! HE MAULED ME EYE!! WHYYYY DID YOU SAY IT??!!!

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Get Your War On

I think Lance Armstrong is either a robot, or Sheryl Crow is and she's giving him ungodly electrical boosts with her robo-powers. How else could he win six in a row?

Of course, while Sheryl Crow is helping him out now, she's just wearing down his defenses so she can assassinate him later. We've seen this multiple times before, one of the most notable examples is Courtney Love and our buddy Kurt. Damn those girl robots, damn them.

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It's grime time.

Is it 'MaKK is an incredibly annoying and hairy twat?'

Is it 'MaKK is an incredibly annoying and hairy twat?'

Of course not, silly. MaKK got a bikini wax.

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AFROMANS MOVE

quote:

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I think Lance Armstrong is either a robot, or Sheryl Crow is and she's giving him ungodly electrical boosts with her robo-powers. How else could he win six in a row?

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quote:

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Apparently, this is all you get win you win the Tour de France:

A stuffed lion and..what is that, brocolli? What did he do, win the ring toss twice at the county fair?

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I could win a million and one Tour De Frances in a row if I was blood doping too.

BLOOD DOPING!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh please. If she wanted to get him, she could have done it long ago and blamed it on his nut cancer.

I think Lance has an unfair advantage in that the lack of testicles makes him more aerodynamic. Or at least more comfortable on that tiny seat.

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Actually, a lack of testicles would give most of us an advantage in life.

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What others say about boorite!

I am picturing my thighs scissoring back and forth relentlessly, day in, day out, as I perch my calloused butt on a seat the shape and texture of a harpoon point. My God, whose testicles wouldn't develop cancer in protest?

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What others say about boorite!

Keep going... I don't wanna lose this mental image.

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Poop.

My ropy thighs, strong enough to crack pecans between my knees, squeezed tightly around a carbon composite bike frame, so tightly that the frame flexes visibly, as I bunny down on those cranks, pumping them harder and harder as I climb uphill...

damn, no wonder I got testicle cancer.

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What others say about boorite!

There are actually pics of me online doing a 50-mile ride in Mexico earlier this year...lord knows I ain't letting any of you near it.

....

....

....

Ok, I'm finished.

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Poop.

Yeah, but without those little puppies, you'll have the urge to stop every 200 meters and ask for directions.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Cruel, Kaufman...pretty funny, tho.

Seriously, I always thought it was an old-wives tale or something, but there was a little old lady years ago who read my kid the riot act for hurting my breast somehow (by accident). She told him "you don't want your mother to get breast cancer, do you?"

That always stuck in my mind and made me wonder if injuries to those delicate areas could cause problems.

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

The lion is for courage, and the broccoli is for strength. Doesn't anyone else get that? Why do you hate the French so much? I don't stink (most of the time). *sniff*

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“It is only with the heart that one sees rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” - The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1945)

choadwarrior's ropy thighs scissoring back and forth, pumping harder and harder, glistening sweat pouring off his Spandex bike togs...

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What others say about boorite!

boorite, the king of erotica!

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Poop.

I just masturbated to that bit of erotica right in the middle of my pastry class.

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Menthol?