I know who I'm voting for when September 11 comes around...or whenever the election is.

Alfred Garnett, candidate by mmyers 7-29-04

I just saw a survey that says 3 out of 5 surveys are saying that Kerry is dropping in the polls. Now I'm not sure if I want to vote for him. Makes you wish there was another candidate, doesn't it? Alfred Garnett is the candidate for a new America. Alfred Garnett doesn't even know that he's running for President, that's how modest he is! Alfred Garnett doesn't even care! Alfred Garnett isn't a pawn of special interest groups! Special interest groups don't even know he's running! When asked about his plans for America, Alfred Garnett had this to say... What the hell are you talking about?

Alfred Garnett, counter-point by mmyers 7-29-04

Alfred Garnett stood by while a dog balanced on a ball at a child's birthday party. Would he stand by while America balanced precariously on a ball, all in the name of 'good fun'? Alfred Garnett stood by while a portion of his son's penis got chopped off. Later, he threw a party. Would Alfred Garnett stand by while America's penis got chopped off then drink Manachevitz? Alfred Garnett has a recipe for America and all of its ingredients together equal APOCALYPSE! *paid for by the committee to keep Alfred Garnett out of the White House*

Alfred Garnett, counter counter-point by mmyers 7-29-04

Some people are criticizing Alfred Garnett, saying that he isn't qualified to lead a country. Some are even questioning whether he is from America. And how does Alfred Garnett respond to these claims? Huh? Alfred Garnett isn't even going to dignify them with a reponse. Alfred Garnett, he doesn't have to stoop to their level©.

Alfred Garnett, counter counter counter-point by mmyers 7-29-04

Alfred Garnett has sex with half a sheep! It's true! We have this doctored photo for proof! Would he fuck America like he fucks sheep?! Think about it! Alfred Garnett is close personal friends with Satan© himself! Alfred Garnett went down to hell and had his campaign blessed by Satan©. What more can we say? Satan© loves him. Alfred Garnett doesn't even want to be President! Would you give a winning lottery ticket to someone who doesn't want it? Of course not! Don't give the Presidency to a guy who just wants to eat alone.

A final point about Alfred Garnett by mmyers 7-29-04

Alfred Garnett has friends who make him drink too much. YOU have friends who make YOU drink too much. Alfred Garnett likes to check out a fine piece of ass sometimes. YOU like to check out a fine piece of ass sometimes. Alfred Garnett is just like you except he's running for President and he doesn't even know it. YOU could be running for President and not know it. Don't you want someone like YOU in the White House?

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

Fuck.
Ing.
Brill.
Iant.

I stand in awe once again.

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The giant three-phallused phallus of Uzbekistan will one day squirt the cosmic jizz of revenge all over Canada.

Hilarious.

Mind-boggling.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Now THAT was witty!

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"AthiestDiary, you rock." - MikeyG (I'm LOVED! HOORAH!)

You know those are good comics when you read 'em and laugh hysterically, then wish YOU would've thought of the idea first. Awesome, mm.

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Think classy, you'll be classy.

Those comix were secksay.

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I will rate you hard, and unendingly.

My thoughts exactly.

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Blue is the color of victory.

You win!

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possible savior probable SEX MACHINE

I should mention that my ever amusing Euro brother from another mother, jes_lawson, has continued the series with very funny results. I'd post the numbers but I'm on my slow ass home computer.

Apparently, (and I didn't know this) there was a British TV show called "Till death do us part" and who was the star but a guy named Alf Garnett. He sounds like a funny cat and jes has continued it in that vein. Check it out.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

I DO indeed like to check out a fine piece of ass sometimes.

I also enjoy a fine mmyers comic. Well done!

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I has a flavor!