I don't want to get into an argument about football, so lets just say you're half right. "Soccer" does sometimes have long spells where nothing happens, although introducing beer to the situation makes them fly by. But there's nothing in any other sport that can compete with the beauty of seeing a thunderous looping volley from 50 yards.
And thanks for the compliment. "Voices" is the only one that came to me in comic strip form, so it didn't have the crappy long-windedness of the others.
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I love Family Guy more than I love taffy, and I'm a man who enjoys his taffy.