The Ten Commandments: Redux by Splunge 7-16-05

I am the Lord, your God. Take off your shoes from your feet. This is sacred ground. My oh my... ...you're a bright little boy, aren't you.

The Ten Commandments: Redux 2 by Splunge 7-16-05

I am the Lord God. You have come to my mountain. I will give you laws for your people. You will take the stone tablets down to them. Tablets. Yes, I have trouble taking them too. Try some apple sauce.

The Ten Commandments: Redux 3 by Splunge 7-16-05

You are afflicted by the disease called Alzheimers. I am the Lord God. I shall cure you. There. It is done. What the fuck? This isn't the bus stop for Atlantic City. Worship me! Oh great, a talking campfire.

The Ten Commandments: Redux 4 by Splunge 7-16-05

You have been cured of your affliction. I am the Lord, your God. I have laws that I will carve upon stone tablets. You will bring them to your people. What? The people at the casino? No. The people of your homeland. The poor slaves that toil amongst the whips of the slave masters. Oh, you mean the people at the old folk's home. Fuck them. They're a bunch of assholes. Except for that male nurse that gives me a sponge bath. He's a hottie.

The Ten Commandments: Redux 5 by Splunge 7-16-05

Now it's been nice talking to you mister God. But I really have to go. I have a sponge bath waiting. That male nurse has rough hands. They feel SO good on my special place. Bitch!

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Bringing you comics, once a year. Whether you want them or not.

I have no shame. I liked them.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Can you make some more where God tries to tempt more people to help him? You know, have a muslim and have him ask him to save his son, and the muslim runs off cause he thinks the guy's talking blasphemy, so God has to ask more people who don't want to help him.

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Crash. Bang. Krrrsh. Uhhhhn. Crash. Bang. Krrrsh. Click. Blam. Onomatopoeia.

If killing your brain cells means you make teh serious funny, then I command you to stay perpetually drunk!

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

haha, lovin the first one

I DEMAND YOU DRINK A FIFTH OF SCOTCH AND CHAIN YOURSELF TO THE COMPUTER!

THOU HAST RECEIVED..ETH THINE COMMANDMENT! GO FORTH AND MAKE THINE FUNNY!

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Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants.