pick a couple of your favorites and post them here and we'll read them

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what if nigger meant kite

Or, scan your crap and post it here. I don't make house calls. And know that the voice of the all-mighty Poo speaks through me as I read your crap. And it will be $3.50 for the first minute, $1.50 for each additional minute. Major credit cards accepted.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

dammn sill contraption I'll figure out how to work it yet.. all right

What if by anubis_138 9-12-05

Look we drew strws I don't know about this Its easy I'm the man... your my bitch.... ummm watch the teeth eh? alright just be gentle, don't think I don't know your hung like a watermerlon

Everyone conga by anubis_138 9-12-05

Visiting the ocean floor with his blue emu, john had a revilation Under da sea la la Shut up before I feed you your own gizzard Not wanting the bird to continue the song John found themsleves someplace less musical and shared his aphipiney Whaaa Have you ever noticed how Arron Neville looks like the incredible hulk? Everyone Conga RAAAAARRR Arron neville SMASH!!! RARRRRR Stupid emu

Really? by anubis_138 9-12-05

A random conversation So you really went to this highschool with brian from family guy? Absolutely In a random place ummm.. so what was he like? He was a sanctimonious little bitch With random creatures really yup

Way to kill my buzz man by anubis_138 9-12-05

It slowyly dawned on ed DAH-DUN-DAH DAH-DUN-DAH DUN-DUN-DAH umm..... scuse me..... uh sir all this time YOUR MAMMA TALKA TO ME TRY TO TELL ME HAVE TO LIVE! I'm soory Mr. fluffy but the scary mask man is singing and he won't stop it was all just a fucking cartoon way to... kill... my buzz.... man Mr. fluffy doesn't like scary mask man's song

The son of god visits the gaza strip by anubis_138 9-12-05

Checking on his fathers handiwork Wow... I love what the palastinians have done with the gaza Strip. Making sure the locals belive god is on there side Sweet.. let the muther fucker burn hey there's another temple down the street.... let burn it........ yeah!... Uh no coments my brain has foresaken me not this rubish again Wait I thought you were.... um... you know....... Jewish, you don't mind us burning and destroying you peoples homes and places of worship?

Yet more crap

Undead visitors for the cow by anubis_138 9-12-05

Dealing with the loss of his torso, zombie can man accepts his need of human brains brains RAAGHRAAAGH.... I am zombie can man........BRAGHHHHRAAAAG....BRAINNNSS Um.. I think you want the cow right? Zombie can man confused by chatty flesh bag COW???? RAARRRG RAAAAABRAAAGH..... No COW! bRAAINNNASSS.... live BRAAAAINS Sure okay... I'll just get the cow, its just outside Zombie can man not upwardly mobile Cow you have undead visitors Clank......drag, drag,drag... clank....drag, drag,drag..............BRAGGGRAAAGH...AH hell little help.....RRRARRRGAARRRBRAAAGGHH

By the nards of klenthu by anubis_138 9-12-05

The one eyed-testicle people of the moon titan were sensitive about there resemblance to a sexual body part Look I'll make this easy on you... Just get your creepy little girl ass in the box... non-compliance will result in.... correction You don't have the stones you one eyed testicle lookin thing Despite there resemblce to said body part, the testicle people are cowardly and stupid Look we've been through all of this before, now get in the box before I shoot you with my pain ray................. oh yeah.......yeah......well fine.... errr kzap.....pew,pew,pew.... oh shit I'd rather die... go ahead and shoot..... oh wait I forgot... I think this belongs to you One thing that can be said of the testicle people is that they are excellent sprinters AHHHHH help Sujit..... it stole my battery pack again by the nards of klenthu its gonna get me Come back here you one eyed bloodclot..... I ain't gonna hurt you ........I'm just gonna kick you in the ball!

More MOH by anubis_138 9-12-05

sir we have satilite on the "package" um scuse me... Mr. Bin laden... there is a robot here to see you 10.......9.........8........7........ Yes sir of course you can press a button... just wait for it No he didn't say what he wanted, all he said is that he was a gift...um I think he said someone named george 6.......5......4.......3.......2........1....... "God damm i love expoding robots"... of course sir we all do MOH!

Rathink vaporizes the house boy by anubis_138 9-12-05

Rathink greatly disliked the new house human Can't say I have.. have you every seen me defileing your wife? Tell me human have you ever seen one of these before? Come to think of it Rathink disliked all humans AHHHHHARRG OH MY GOD AAAHHHHHRRR IT BURNS God dammed smart ass shaved ape Especially dead ones Sweet Zombie jebuz.. why me Honey.. I'm home... Has the house boy finished the hor's deuvese for senator Tathor's reception

An undead army of unholy carnivores by anubis_138 9-12-05

Bob the zombie can man seems rather well convinced he was an undead torso I'm back bob.... you seem different RARRRRG ARRRR BRAAINSS BRAHHHH BADD COWW fOR AN IMAGINARY COW HE TASTED PRETTY DAMM GOOD Seriously Bob... I miss you tooooo... but there is no need to eat me RAAARRGGG....TASTEY BAD COW..... NEEED BRAAAIIIINSSS In a strange twist of fate the remaining paritioners after eating the "specially seasoned " Zombie cow burgers proceed to raise an unholy army of undead carnivores Holey poop on a stick... were's Cow I have a ..uh.. package for him ...........................................................................no shit........Sure you guys need special seasoning A legless torso in a can came and violently sodomized and ate most of Cow....... were cooking the rest out back......You want a burger

How is it you can spell sanctimonious but not epiphany?
That's just weird, man.

dictionaries spoil my fun.... and now for more crap

Grey robot meets a friendly human by anubis_138 9-12-05

Is that human staring at me What do I do... I'm not trained for this have you had your I/O ports serviced recently sweety mommy

Rootbeer and head cheese by anubis_138 9-12-05

Zombies have trouble making new friends Go away... we don't want your kind here... we like our brains Oh that is so typical... just because I'm undead doesn't mean I'm going .... tooo... eaat... YOOOOOR BRAAAAIIIINNNNNS RAAAAARRRRRRRRGG...... God damm it you know waht happens when you say that word.. Insensitive mortals don't realize that all zombie wants is a rootbeer and some headcheese kee-hee-hee... come on man say it again......no you say it .... ok ok on three ....one... two... BRAINS! Look I'm not fucking around......don't even... look I'm warning you... I RAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHH Stupid Mortals must pay Oooooooo.... shit.. I think you made it angry.......Kee-hee-eeeheeehehee.... no you shut up I'LL RIP YOUR BRAAAAAIIIIINNNS THROUGH YOUR ASSS HOOOOLEES RAAAARRRRGLEMRAAAAAGHHHH

Bob makes a lousy Zombie by anubis_138 9-12-05

The zombie thing was getting old fast god damm it, I keep showing up in every strip... random my ass Do I smell head cheese Bob had just stop taking pride in his work *sigh* RAR I'm a scary zombie give me your brain I swear I smell some funky..... god what died Bob made a lousy zombie AH_HEM.... RAAAARRRRGMRAAAGGGGH I'M GOOING TO CRACK OOOPEN YOUR SKULL AND FEAST ON THE GOOO INSIDE....... RAAAARGHH... oh why do I even bother shit I left my hearing aid with my towel

Random crazyness by anubis_138 9-12-05

We find our brave hero random man engaging the dread god Cthulhu in battle ha ha I am random man... I shall smite you foul thing! Obviously this guy doesn't read Lovecraft, looks like I'll have to go through the spiel Random man finds his bowels oddly loosened by the foul creatures otherworldly voice PHHHTPPPPP IAM ....CTHULHU.... I HAVE EMERGED FROM MY WATERY TOMB TO ENSLAVE.... AND EAT YOUR RACE.... I AM YOUR ALPHA AND YOUR OMEGA.... I AM INFINITE AND AGELESS... I AM YOUR GOD!!!!!! Random man condems the human race to its dark fate(insert evil laugh here) MOMMY! BABY NEEDS A NEW DIDEY Humans are so funny after they soil themselves from fear

By the way, excessive narration = death. If you read your comics ignoring the narration, you'll realize it's totally unnecessary.
And much like women, your comics could use a lot less periods.

sory to many hours wasted with final fantasy....... urge to use crappy punctation rising

Anyways these are some of the fruits of todays wasted time. Yes I know my spelling/grammar/grasp of the english language need improvement but thats what makes it fun. If you care about who I am I am simply a crazy vetran on disabilty with a computer and too much spare time.

i liked What if, By the nards of klenthu, Grey robot meets a friendly human, and Bob makes a lousy Zombie. the rest weren't too bad either the narration boxes just get annoying after awhile

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what if nigger meant kite

You have potential, but for the love of TOBOR, cut it out with the narration boxes...

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.