Because I'm a lazy ass who can't think of anything clever for a contest, I'm going to think of stuff off the top of my head and you have to make a comic about at least three of them.

Airplanes
Blinky red lights
Rocket ships
Kevin Sorbo
Bearded ladies with tattoos
Sour balls
A can of whoop-ass
Al Pacino
Farting unicorns

The winner will be whoever's I deem the funniest. Bonus points if you magically guess what I'm thinking about. Judging will be sometime before the apocalypse.

apocalypse now.

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"Common sense is not so common." Voltaire

CC336: Stoo by JamesSchlong 11-02-06

Brenda, I was just licking a unicorn's balls. Oh my God, Janine, how was it? Pretty sour. I think he might have farted too. Wanna see my lower back tattoo?

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Ohh, James.

CC

I told you that blinking red light was a bad thing, Mr. Kevin "Look I'm Hercules" Sorbo. Suck my sour balls, Pacino.

by HCRoyall, 11-02-06

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It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

CC 336. Hercules...in SPAAAAACE! by Xuanwu 11-02-06

On board Air Force One. Damn it! Those tattoo covered bearded lady aliens have blown the roof off my airplane! Send Al Pacino after them! We can't, sir. Al Pacino betrayed us for a lifetime supply of sour balls and a farting unicorn. We had to send someone else. But who else could open a can of whup-ass on those aliens like Al Pacino? Because of the short notice, we could only get Kevin Sorbo. We put him on a rocket ship to the alien's spacecraft. Ooo, look at the red blinking lights!

As for what you're thinking about: the crew of Andromeda meeting the cast of Godfather?

Groovy! - Presents: More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 11-02-06

Last week, I flew on one of those 747 airplanes- y'know, the ones with blinky lights, and rockets for engines... Well, Kevin Sorbo was sitting there... *sniff* ...next to a bearded lady with tattoos, looking like he just sucked on a whole bag of sour balls. He was about to open up a can of whoop-ass, when in walks Al Pacino! What the HELL..? I realize none of this is funny, but I'm trying to win that stoopid-ass CC: 336! Why does it smell like farting unicorns in here? YOU'VE DRUNK FROM THE TOILET AGAIN, HAVEN'T YOU, YOU STUPID FUCKING CAT??

You're a Book Store, Aintcha? by christopher7murphy 11-02-06

Har, Har! Stop me if you heard this one. Kevin Sorbo and Al Pacino walk onto an airplane... ...Kevin looks at Al and says, "Do you see that blinking red light? That means the pilot is asleep and the plane is going to crash." Then Al says, "Listen Kevin, you are an idiot. That blinking red light means the onflight movie is about to start. And it just so happens to be a movie I star in!" ..oh, and then Kevin says, "Same thing!"

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Insert Theme to Mannix here

Freaky by up4abeer 11-02-06

So this dude dressed up like Kevin Sorbo shows up riding on the back of these other two dudes dressed in a unicorn outfit. Huh? It gets better. The dude in the rear of the unicorn had a serious gas problem. Dude could not stop farting. So another dude dressed like Al Pacino starts shoving sour balls up his ass. Then both of the unicorn dudes open up a serious can of whoop ass on Al Pacino. It was one freaky costume party. Who the hell is Kevin Sorbo?

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Shovel Ready

What A Full Beard You Have... by Hatrix 11-03-06

Who do I resemble most? Kevin Sorbo or Al Pacino? If you tell me I'll give you some sour balls. Uh... I dunno. Oh you're such a sweet child. Sweet as a unicorn's fart that's what I always say! Uh... Mommy? Yes dear? Will you show me your tattoos again? I like the one with the rocket ship hitting an airplane.

See A Doctor by Hatrix 11-03-06

So I'm watching the Discovery channel and it turns out I'm some kind of jurassic unicorn. Oh.. oh wow. *cough* What is that sm... That was you huh? Uh. heh. Yeah sorry 'bout that. You know healthy folk don't smell like that Hal. Yeah yeah yeah.

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“Life is intrinsically... boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course it almost never does; that's what makes it so boring.”--Ogdred Weary

POTpourri by AngryAmerican 11-04-06

I LIKE BLINKY RED LIGHTS! I like german altar boys with smooth, sour balls. I like Kevin Sorbo in a thong woven from clam shells and human hair. I like it when my aardvark Sally licks fire ants off the opening of my abdominal shunt. Sometimes i throw myself down flights of stairs and fanatasize that Al Pacino beat my skank ass cuz i've been a bad hooker. I often flog my naughty bits thinking about rocket ships and android women in silver helmets. Want some jello?

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Kill Whitey.

CC 336. "Snake? Snake! SNAAAAAKE!" by Xuanwu 11-04-06

"Snakes on a Plane." There are mother-lovin' snakes on this mother-lovin' airplane! Oh, SNAP! "Snakes on a Starship." There are mother-lovin' snakes on this mother-lovin' rocket ship! Oh, SNAP! "Snakes on a Direct-to-Video." There's a mother-lovin' Kevin Sorbo in this mother-lovin' hallway! Oh, S - wait, what?

CC 336: Hollywood Hookers by biped 11-05-06

I just blew Kevin Sorbo! Boy, did he have sour balls! I fucked Al Pacino yesterday! PEE-YEW! It was like being in the middle of a herd of farting unicorns! I seen blinky red lights for two hours! I've gone down on 39 bearded ladies with tattoos on three separate airplanes! I opened up a can of whoop-ass on 57 big, veiny alien peckers aboard four different rocket ships last year alone! Yeah...well, anyway...Kevin Sorbo sure had sour balls. That's why I always carry Tic-Tacs!

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

Ya know, when I said "at least three" I didn't mean "cram every reference in a comic til it explodes with crap." Maybe I should have been more clear. Oh well.

JamesSchlong and HCRoyall made me laugh out loud. Many kudos to Hatrix for her clever comic making references without blatantly saying "look it's Al Pacino!" even if there was only one reference.

Demerits go to edoggydog for calling the contest stupid.

But the winner has to be AngryAmerican for POTpourri. Talk about a plethora of wondrous images to behold! Now all I can think about is fire ants in Santa's abdominal shunt.

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Demerits go to edoggydog for calling the contest stupid.

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Demerits go to edoggydog for calling the contest stupid.

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You're RIGHT... I should have called it FUCKING stupid!

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well, thank you, goddamnit!
i am pleased that santas abdominal shunt will stay with you for a while. its always been a good friend to me!

i'll get the next cc up and running tomorrow.
i promise.

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Kill Whitey.

Hooray for Zoidberg!

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“Life is intrinsically... boring and dangerous at the same time. At any given moment the floor may open up. Of course it almost never does; that's what makes it so boring.”--Ogdred Weary