Okay, mandingo and I won the last CC, which is pretty dumb.  We decided to each make up two rules, so here you go:

mandingo's rules

1.  You must use a body part as a verb somewhere in the comic.

2.  A limerick with the word "cunt" must appear somewhere in the comic.

Scyess' rules

3.  Since mandingo and I are joint winners of the last CC, a reference to drugs (not necessarily illegal) must appear somewhere in the comc.

4.  At some point in the comic, a character must be thinking about playing with something.

Because it's hard to follow four rules, entries only have to follow at least one of the above rules.

Judging when either mandingo or I see a comic here which is so funny we can't reasonably expect any other future entries to be funnier any time soon.

Get stripping!

[edited by Scyess on 03-10-07 at 8:03:56am]

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"Old" is the old new.

RCL no. 1451 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-09-07

I once new a boy from Kentuckit... Whose dick was so long he could suck it... Then, he said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin... "If, my ear were a cunt, I would fuck it!" Speaking of that, I think I'll go snort some crank and play with the cat...

RandomComicLayoutGuy

There's really no point in entering anymore.

Even though I will.

Just not now because it's two in the morning.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

CC 349: Nursery Rhymes? by gabe_billings 3-10-07

So let's hear it. My friend Bob, whilst smoking a blundt, On a horny, drug-addled hunt, Tongued a light socket, waxed up his rocket, and then used my bong for a cunt. I don't think that's going to play too well at poetry night at your son's kindergarten. What if Bob was a fluffy bunny?

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

CC 349: Just Because by gabe_billings 3-10-07

So let's hear it. Mac, untie the balloon! We'll fly it on up to the moon. We'll drift on the breeze, collect some green cheese, and eat it all up with a spoon! I don't think that's going to play too well at filthy poetry night at Big Al's Biker and Swarthy Sailor bar. What if Mac was a coked out man-whore who dicked people for money and lived in the bathroom at the bus depot?

I'm not sure what the point of that was. Boredom, and the desire to use 'cunt' in a limerick that wasn't really dirty. Just ignore the comma and the space between the 'c' and 'u'.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

CC 348: Ritalin Test Subject #395827-A by biped 3-10-07

Class, in honor of National Limerick Day, Bobby has composed a special limerick about...ME! Bobby? (ahem) "There once was a cunt with the runs...who dumped her wet feces on buns..." Umm... "A fellow named Mellish, added mustard and relish, and fed them to nearsighted nuns." I trust you can find your way to the principal's office, young man. Oh, right--blame me for your bad parenting. Well, dick ya later, Mom.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

This is the winner for sure...

CC 348: Ritalin Test Subject #395827-A by biped 3-10-07

Class, in honor of National Limerick Day, Bobby has composed a special limerick about...ME! Bobby? (ahem) "There once was a cunt with the runs...who dumped her wet feces on buns..." Umm... "A fellow named Mellish, added mustard and relish, and fed them to nearsighted nuns." I trust you can find your way to the principal's office, young man. Oh, right--blame me for your bad parenting. Well, dick ya later, Mom.

...but here's my entry anyway.

CC: 349 A Cautionary Tale. by El_Phen 3-11-07

There once was a girl named Peggit, When chased by the police she would leg-it. She once tried this stunt, while playing with her cunt, and said "Either pay or forget it. Jesus, your mum was fucked up when she was addicted to pain-killers huh?

As promised, one unfunny entry.

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the kid's getting old, the kid's getting old

RCL no. 1453 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-12-07

Here's one for you... My ex-girlfriend's a CUNT... Yes, I said it, a CUNT! Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt... Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt... Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. CUUUUUUUUNT!! You got a phone number for her?

....although unfunny, at least this entry for RCLG wasn't plagiarized!
RandomComicLayoutGuy

CC: 384 by The_young_scot 3-13-07

There once was a fellow called Billy.... Who couldn't stop touching his willy.... So he smoked lots of crack.............. And launched an attack................. Then boned some poor cunt silly Ach! Now all I can think about is playing with my shlong I should never have let you write your own wedding vows

These rules were hard!

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The following statement its true. The previous statement is false

The Vulgar Carpenter in: Bed Time Story by NastyPope 3-13-07

Daddy. Read me a story. Ok Sweetie, I'll read you one of my poems about someone very special, but then you have to go straight to bed. Yaaaay! An old whore who was smoking a blunt, Fucked four men to pussy a stunt, But her partion split, the blood,_jism_and_shit, Dribbled out of her torn gaping cunt. Daaaaddy! Gross! Who's that about? Your mother of course! What? You think the fuckin stork brought you?

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At least im still funny .....looking. http://www.carrionfields.com

CC 348: Church Chuckles by biped 3-14-07

A Japanese cunt named Yu Fat, told our pastor to piss in his hat. Our quick-thinking pastor, averted disaster, by obligingly doing just that. That's a true story, folks. In fact, he still has the hat. Biff, you're excommunicated.

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Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend...always in the way.

These limericks are awesome.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.

RCL no. 1455 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-15-07

Why don't you smoke a doobie and play wid dis one, sistah: I saw yo' momma and said, "Oh, sweet heaven"... Cuz her ass is as big as a 7-11! Sorry, if I'm blunt, but she's one big-ass cunt... On a scale from one to ten she's a 747! Whatcha got, beotch? Try this on for size, sonny: On a white horse named Trigger... Rides my grandson the "wigger"... I don't know why, but he always tries... To be a hip-hop rappin', cowboy NIGGER! What?

CC 348: Co-Weeners by umfumdisi 3-16-07

I was considering playing my guitar for you all tonight, but I took some Percocets and now I can't feel my fingers. I'll just do a bit of dicking around instead. How about a limerick, then? There once was a cunt from St. Barts, well-versed in the vaginal arts. She proclaimed, "Cunnilingus, I prefer over dingus," and proceeded to lick her girl parts!

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

Groovy! - More Thoughts from My Fucking Cat by edoggydog 3-19-07

I wish I knew some funny limericks... That would make you cunts laugh like a bag of dicks... Then, I might be blessed, to win this contest... And, get a year supply of Meow Mix! I wrote the previous while I was high on catnip and playing with what used be my balls... Sorry.

CC 349: History Lesson by kaufman 3-20-07

A fifth-century all-points manhunt sought a mad doc - a sex-changing runt. The searchers were crazed 'cause their lands had been razed By transgendered Attila The Cunt.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Mandingo has given it to me to judge this.  I had half a mind to declare everyone co-winners just to be a dick, but in the end I decided against it.

Runner up is this comic, which I find this hilarious for no apparent reason:

RCL no. 1453 by RandomComicLayoutGuy 3-12-07

Here's one for you... My ex-girlfriend's a CUNT... Yes, I said it, a CUNT! Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt... Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt... Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. CUUUUUUUUNT!! You got a phone number for her?

However, I have to say the funniest comic in this contest is still the 2nd entry:

CC 349: Nursery Rhymes? by gabe_billings 3-10-07

So let's hear it. My friend Bob, whilst smoking a blundt, On a horny, drug-addled hunt, Tongued a light socket, waxed up his rocket, and then used my bong for a cunt. I don't think that's going to play too well at poetry night at your son's kindergarten. What if Bob was a fluffy bunny?

The sequel was good, too.  Congrats, gabe!  You're up next.  I hope mandingo is satisfied with my choice.

Also congrats to everyone who entered a limerick comic that was genuinely funny.  I didn't think it could be done!  And yet there were plenty.

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"Old" is the old new.

w00t! I thought both of biped's were hilarious. Gimme a little bit to think it over and I'll come back with the next one.

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100 pounds of shit in a 25 pound sack.