The day the dinosaurs died by nragemachine 11-26-07

Hey, man. Wanna smoke? You know those things will be the death of you! Meteor Crashes. Smoke 'em if you got 'em. Aw, crap!

Opinions?

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

Cosgrove Versus The Angel Of Death (White Boy's Vacation) by nragemachine 1-24-04

During White Boy's short vacation (getting away from Cosgrove)... Hey, angel! What are you doing? I'm just here for the apocalypse, and all that. Cool, so anyway can I be blessed, so that everyone should enjoy my company better? Uh, geez that's a tough one. Lemme try. There we go!

 

White Boy Versus Airport Security by nragemachine 2-01-03

One fine day at the airport... Hold it! Do you have any luggage? No! *Tick* Have a nice day! *Tick* *Tick* What a nice fella. Hold it! This one looks suspicious! On the ground now terrorist! Huh? But I'm innocent, dude!

 

White Boy Versus The Secret Sauce by nragemachine 8-21-03

One fine day and the bottom of a bucket of chicken... Ah, yes! I finally got that piece of chicken out of my teeth! What's that salty taste? Chicken ain't that sticky. What's that smell? Uh,oh. What? Never eat chicken while masturbating. I'm leaving. Now I gotta wash my shoes...

White Boy Versus Waterman's Lack Of Man Area by nragemachine 1-24-04

One day, turned gay by Dan... Hey, Dan! But, I'm Waterman!!! I heard a rumor that your going on steroids. Yeah, I was thinking about it but, I heard it shrinks your man area! So, if you took steroids you've got nothing to worry about!

Here's some highlights from my old comics from 2003-04.

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

Bad Date #2 by nragemachine 12-09-07

Lets make love right here, baby! Uh, sure, but what's that over there? Oh, the goat? Never mind him. I call him Captain Humpenstein! Baby?

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Comments?

Let's hear it.

Give it to me straight.

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

straight? OK, i didn't like any of them.

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Kill Whitey.

 There was a story in the news a while back about a dog that was in a nursing home that could sense death. Whenever he laid next to one of the residents and stay with them they would die the next day. True story. I figured I'd mention that first so it would make more sense.

Fatal Fluffy Friend by nragemachine 12-17-07

Hey, gramma. Remember that story about the dog from that nursing home that could sense when people were going to die? Vaguely. Well, anyway this is the very same nursing home! I hope you like it here. Wait, so if the dog follows you around and won't leave you alone that means your going to die? Aw, shit! Barf!

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Any better?

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

marginally.

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Kill Whitey.

avoid narration when possible.

having someone think "ouch" is really superflous (read : unnecessary), a silent character sitting there after getting the ice-burn is more effective. the reader creates closure on their own, eliminating the need for the obvious "ouch" in a thought bubble

look at some of the commenters here and their comics and take notes - it's an artform, but not something that can't be learned. it took me a while too.

short version : you have good ideas, just sloppy execution.

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

Thanks for the constructive criticism. I will certanly take that to heart.

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

I was eating some beef stew and thought of this.

Today, A Lesson About Beef... by nragemachine 12-19-07

Boy dad, that beef soup was sooo thick and meaty! Yeah, It was like I pureed a cow's ass! UGH! That doesn't sound like a good thing. You see son, cow meat is like a fine woman...   ?   ...The ass is the best part!

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I hope you guys get a kick out of this one.

Constructive criticism welcome...

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

A Very Special Christmas by nragemachine 12-19-07

Thank You for calling Dial-A-Hitman. What can we help you with today? I have a job that needs done on the 25th. Okay sir. What would you like us to do for you? Well, I just wanted to give my mother-in-law something special this year.

 Hope this spreads some holiday cheer!

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

Probably been done before but...

The Mothersh*t Has Landed! by nragemachine 12-19-07

I've been abducted by aliens 3 times! You're full of shit!

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

nragemachine

Thanks for not going all defensive like some newbs do. You're getting better.

re : the day the dinosaurs died - it might be better to just have the smoking dino saying something wry - his vindication at their destruction is the key to the funny on that one. I won't dictate what you write, but take that idea and run with it.  

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Our liability coverage is zero. Our balls however are enormous.

I just hit random comic layout and edited it from there.

Alien Commander Manwhore by nragemachine 1-10-08

This is just great! My spaceship has crash-landed on this forsaken planet and I do not have the tools to repair it! Well, better make the most of it. Hey, wanna see my anal probe?

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

This one's worth a giggle...

#2 With Extra Cheese by nragemachine 1-10-08

Now remember, We were eating at Burger King when a mexican hit your car in the parking lot. Don't tell her you lost control of the car and ate shit! Burger King, mexican, eat shit....got it. Hey, hun. Where have you been? We ate shit at a mexican Burger King.

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

I liked the last one.

I liked Fatal Fluffy Friend, it was what I was thinking after watching that documentary the other day :)

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"Are you an aethist?" "Yes, I'm from Brooklyn" ~Angel Heart

Lol.  I guess they were ok. 

BTW how do you put a comic in forums?

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The only way to make a friend is to be one jk

I'm back and all new...

My Penis As A Punchline by nragemachine 2-28-08

...So, he says, "Those aren't my eggs!". Ha! Can you believe it?! Yeah, that's pretty funny. You know what else is a real Knee-slapper? What? My Penis.

Knee-slapper...

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

That joke is so old, it dates back to that prehistoric time when people still used the idiom "knee-slapper."  If you're going to take the time to make a comic, why not write your own material? 

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

not_Scyess

I never heard that joke before. Oh ,well. They can't all be winners.

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

nragemachine

Hey!  That's my motto!

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

This one was one of my favorite ones...

The day the dinosaurs died Ep.4 by nragemachine 11-26-07

One day in a house before time... Hey thanks for inviting me over. I brought a veggie platter. That's nice, but I already ate. So, did you get a chance to meet my new girlfriend? Oh, yeah! She was a juicy piece of ass! Yeah, I know! Wait, she.....was? Like I said, I already ate.

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?

I just came in here today and saw my #2 with Extra Cheese in the top rated section! Thank you all who voted. I haven't done much in the way of comics here in a while due to being busy doing nothing. This honor has motivated me to get back to it, pending some sort of comical inspiration. What's funny is the comic comments say that they are like 9 months old when the comic is only about 4 months old. I'll be back.........

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Ever fart in a can of pop and drink it?