http://www.stripcreator.com/comics/hilaritynsuze

read my comics on account of it has the best title ever.

My only complaint is that you take too long to get to a punchline. You would have been served better by using the 'splitter' background and using the 'blue' character over and over in a monologue, getting it done in one comic instead of dragging out the Sad News into a series.

I think you have some promise, but work on the one punchline per comic ratio.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

learn to post and i will read....

---
Kill Whitey.

I don't generally go in much for the single strip format. I mean that's kind of like saying all poetry has to rhyme. My style is more conversational. Maybe that's cuz I can't seem to converse in real life, whatever. Um... but here's a single strip I just made.

[Click to view comic: 'Everything's a cry for help except an actual cry for help.']

ur comics are funny, thanks.

---
fail, fail again, fail better.

I'm not saying you should abandon the conversational style, but I have to say that the punchline at the end just isn't worth trudging through the rest to me. If you have to do things in a lot of 3-panel installments, people are more likely to read through them if you put a punchline in each one, like a slow build to the final conclusion.   I was VERY disappointed when I got to the end of the Sad News arc only to find that if I had just skipped to the last comic after reading the first I would have still gotten the joke without all the exposition.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

Well, it's not so much about telling jokes as it is about establishing characters. I hope that there may be some humor in my comics, but that's not my main objective. And even the humor that I want to be there, I'm more about subtle undercurrents within the conversation, than in any actual punchlines. Even if the conversation does lead to a punchline. Sometimes.

That's fine, if that's what you're going for. Just don't expect much more feedback than this unless you plan on posting more than just one comic. Most of us have short attention spans and can't be arsed to wade through comic upon comic just to find a nugget of comedy.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

I'll offer my own comics as an Exhibit A-? of how you can do a series and still keep people's attention, mostly by creating one big joke and stretching it over several smaller jokes. I am by NO means saying I'm the best at it, but it's something I attempt to do and so I can see what you're attempting. Check out my "To Serve Robot-Kind" series as an example of how I've done this.

Again, I dig what you're trying to do, but I agree with Royall, there's certainly better ways of going about it.

---
"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

Read some of those robot comics. Pretty good stuff, I should try to get through a bit more of it later.

 Meanwhile, I've just done a 7-part series called "Comic book weekend." This time I made a conscious effort to end each strip on at least a slightly punchlinish note, though my humor tends to be pretty dry (and frequently only works if one is familiar with the characters, or things they've said/done in the past). Anyway, I'll post the first strip in the series here, but I really don't like posting comics in forums, it tends to stretch out threads if you do it too much, I feel. I'm certainly not going to post an entire series in here...

[Click to view comic: 'Comic book weekend part 1']

That comic is exactly what I was pointing you towards. Yes, it's a bit dry, but it's still humorous and makes me more willing to continue reading a series.

---
It was such a waste of everyone’s time and money that even the Tokyo stadium’s rape robots apologized– something they were programmed specifically never to do.

hilaritynsuze

I like the two comics of yours I've read so far, but the one above has a very common problem:  too much information.  Is it necessary for the set up to mention Bat Man?  The "shyness" came out of nowhere, and so did "embarased by the thought of physical intimacy."  (Plus that's not really the definition of shyness, which is off-putting.)

I've pared it down a bit to illustrate my point.  I'm not saying it's a great comic, but it's what I could do with my time and budgetary constraints:

[Click to view comic: 'A Moderate Improvement over Comic 431068']

Again, overall, I like your style.  And it's great to get some personality into your regular characters.  But you have tons of comics to do that... you don't need to sacrifice the funny for the character development.  Develop over several comics.

So that's my pedantic rant.  I'm looking forward to reading more from you.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

I dig what not_Scyess is saying, however I'm also thinking that this particular comic is intended to be part of a series. The "modest improvement" that not_Scyess did is a great stand-alone version of this comic strip, but I can also appreciate that you're trying to do a series with a set premise, and for that I really do like this one better. Keep it up!

Oh, and I'm glad you enjoyed my comics! Thanks!

---
"He was cursed with a horrorshow of a face, like Guiseppe Archbold doing a study of mollusk tumors."

These are excellent. Consider using a background.

---
woof

ZMannZilla

As I mentioned, it's great to do series with character development and premises and whatnot, but it's best to build that up over lots of funny comics rather than cramming to much information into a few comics.  But to each his own, etc.  There are plenty of strips out there that do it the cramming way, too... and a lot are successful.

Also be careful not to build up your characters so much that all your jokes rely on inside information gleaned from reading all the previous comics.  It can make someone just browsing get kind of lost.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

not_Scyess

Mentioning Batman is a reference to a conversation the characters had in an earlier strip. I understand that it may not be the best idea to assume your readers have read your entire series in order, but personally I like to have some continuity. The characters don't start each strip tabula rasa, they remember their own past, and like real people, they are sometimes going to reference it. As for shyness, it didn't come out of nowhere, Suze was equating shyness with social anxiety, which Hilarity had just mentioned. But to be honest, his final response wasn't exactly the way I wanted it. Believe it or not, I ended up shortening it. I really wanted his response to include the fact that shyness and social anxiety are different, as well as that his definition of shyness was just that: his definition, his own belief about what it means to be shy. (I could do a whole series debating different perspectives on what different terms mean to different people.)

The thing that bothers me about your improvement is that Hilarity says "we're" never going to have sex. I really don't want it to seem like there's even any question of the two of them hooking up, he's not talking about Suze and himself, he's just talking about himself. Besides which, it would totally change the whole dynamic of the next strip in the series.

 Meanwhile! Here's my lastest strip, a one-shot:

[Click to view comic: 'The Wretched Poor']

Well, the important thing really is that YOU like your comics.  And you seem to know exactly what you're doing, and like doing it, so keep it up.

Welcome to SC.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

So check it out. Just did a new 10-part (yes, ten part) strip called "Confessions of a depressive mind." as usual, I shall post the first part here, but there's not much point commenting unless you read the whole thing.... though I'm not completely happy with the end, I feel like I may have forgotten exactly what I had in mind for the "watercooler" part. But I'm not sure...

 [Click to view comic: 'Confessions of a depressive mind, part 1']

I know you don't think there's much point in commenting on that one comic, but I thought it was pretty funny on its own.

Sorry.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Yeah, you oughta be sorry. How dare you compliment my work!?

 Um... seriously, though I think if a strip isn't good enough to make someone bother to read the next strip in the series, then... it's probably not good enough. Um, yeah...

Well, you've already mentioned that you'll be sacrificing the funny in most comics for story continuity... or building up one joke over several comics.  So I'm not interested in the rest.  But that one was good.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Hey, I really enjoyed reading your comics. Like not-scyess said though, it does take a while for a punchline to be hit, but I personally didn't mind it. You use both character development and humour in a unique way, can't wait for more.

[Click to view comic: 'Mellow Yellow']

Imagine that comic without the narration bars.  It would be much better.  The narration doesn't explain anything you can't infer from the conversation; double information is distracting and drains the funny faster than, uh.... a big quickly draining thing.

---
peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Personally I happen to prefer it with the narration. *shrug*