Halloween approacheth.  But that's not relevant to this contest.  Some of you may know 463 as the distance to deepest centerfield in the old Yankee Stadium, prior to its remodeling.  Again, not important for this contest.  I looked up the year 463 in Wikipedia ... and found out that nothing of very much significance happened in that year.  Maybe some Visigoths were around, but who cares?

So Rule Number 1:  Your comics for this contest must NOT take place in the year 463.  462 is fine, 464 is kosher, 4463 is good if you want to give it a futuristic element, even a  late Roman Empire comic set in an undefined year would be acceptable.  At least if it were funny.

But then, what is this contest?  Is it animal, vegetable, or mineral?  The answer is, of course, all of the above.  A (non-human) animal must speak.  Some plant matter must speak.  And something non-living or lifelike (think props or backgrounds) must speak.  Other than that, you have free rein.

Oh, and since we're playing animal/vegetable/mineral, somewhere in your comic, a yes/no question must be asked.  Yes, title and narration are fair game, or even the author's name if it's in such a form.

A winner will be selected when the entries reach critical mass and it looks like most of what's to be said on this topic has been said.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

To Betty, all Men are Al by four_legged_tripod 10-26-10

What is it, ma? Audry II, it's time you grew up and move out. And you won't grow up strong unless you start eating your vegetables! What up dog? You got any vegetables on you? No, but I hear they keep some in the building down the block. Coma unit? 3rd floor.

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

Groovy! The question the female of a species always ask... by edoggydog 10-27-10

...when they sense something's wrong: What is it? What is it? And the answer the males give: You're a cunt!

What it is! by crabby 10-29-10

The following tale does not take place in the year 463. I can't feed you plant. I have to hurry and enter kaufman's comic contest before it's too late. You're a fool. Only one person understands the rules to this contest and he's sitting all alone waiting 3 months to come back and judge anyways. You're never alone when you're holding a precious little angel! So... Do you think you could explain the rules to me? No. I really don't have a fucking clue what is going on and furthermore I'm leaving forever.

Due to a sheer lack of Governor creativity lately Ive opted for an injoke homage. enjoy.

CC463:Do I have a malignant brain tumour? (Ode to Wirthling) by TheGovernor 11-06-10

If I were you I'd either go get stoned! Or seek a second opinion Thank you Rock, I think the house plant has a degree in medicine, I'll go ask her You should really consult with the cat, Im more of a herbalist Thanks talking Plant, I'll do that Have you looked up the symptoms online? The computer is pretending I have AOL, and the TV is saying I have a subscription to FOX, better to just kill me now I think

CC463: Do you accept the charges? by TheGovernor 11-08-10

What do you get if the leader of the A-Team has a choice of dropping off some potatoes to a cattle farm or heading over to his mothers house for afternoon tea and cakes? I don't know Hannibal, Veg to Bull or Mini Roll *click* Well that's ten seconds of my life Im not getting back

Hard Up by four_legged_tripod 11-10-10

Can you help me, doctor? I think my sexual compulsions are going to warp the mind of my boys. I remember when your first son was into the Muppets, you would rub your pussy with his "Animal" doll. Yeah, and when my second son got into Veggie Tales, well.. Larry the cucumber is dildo shaped... So what's your third son into that's causing your sexual compulsions to come out again? ...please say his pet rock, please say his pet rock, please say his...

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"Humiliation is humiliation only when you choose to suffer." ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

cc463 by mandingo 11-10-10

holy shit! RUN! what was that all about? haven't the foggiest. GENTLEMEN!!! quiet, forest fire. adults talking

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what if nigger meant kite

CC 463 - Punctual by lukket 11-14-10

Where's Jimmy? He's at the comma ward. He's a vegetable. He's a carrot. What did you expect? Hey, did you just say the comma ward? Yup. He's lost the ability to use commas in sentences. Why can't you help my old friend Jimmy here? Sorry, but I'm specialised in carets.

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troelsea at gmail dot com

Is this one of those month-long contests?  Hello, Kaufman? Can we get a decision and move on??

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch.  TheGovernor wins for his tribute to He Who Sucks.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Woot! Cheers Mr K

New competition will be up soon.