Me winning the last CC is kind of an example of the so-called, "Peter Principle".  I guess I could google it for accuracy, but I think the Peter Principle is the theory that just about everyone gets promoted to one position just beyond their abilities.  Think about the yahoos in upper management at your work who make you think, "Whose dick did that stupid fuck suck to get his/her position?"

So, this comic contest is about anyone famous or not-so-famous that makes you scratch your head (and your taint) wondering how the got where they are in life.  (You can even make up a character, if you want.)

Rules:

1. Absolutely NO Trump comics!!!


2. Okay, you can do Trump comics if you want


3. The phrase "Whose dick did he suck?" or or some variation of it must appear somewhere in the comic


4. Any mention of proletariat masturbation is an instant DQ


5. Any dooshbag strippers with an "8" or "13" in their name need not enter (however, if you have both in your name, you can enter, as long as you embrace your dooshbaggyness.)

BONUS POINTS:

• Zero bonus points.  I don't even know why I brought it up.

I will judge this contest once I feel we've gone one comic too far.  Which could happen at anytime.

GOOD LUCK!!

CC 668: The Peter, Not The Principal by umfumdisi 5-14-17

Ok kiddos, I'm Mr. Dalrymple. I have a letter here stating that Mr. Parkins will no longer be teaching this class after running away to Mexico with one of your classmates. Lucky bast- Anyway, last week I was a lowly sandwich artist. What? No, I didn't work at Subway. I drew sketches of people's lunches in the park for spare change. English was never my best subject, but with budget cuts and all...I'm basically the only guy who would agree to finish up the year for the school's lowball offer. I understand you were reading The Catcher in the Rye, a classic novel which I never actually finished. Still, if you have any questions, go ahead. 45 minutes later... Can someone please tell me where Mexico is and loan me the amount necessary to get there?

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

CC 668 "Kids Can Tell" by Makin_d_bacon 5-15-17

I'd like to to apply for the "Principal" job at the grade school, Mr. Sanderson. You seem perfect. Maybe I'll just give you a shot at it. How can I ever thank you? The next day...... Hello kids! I'm your new Principal. I'll bet he sucked off the "Superintendant".

CC 668: Devil with a Blue Dress On by Namgubed 5-16-17

Meanwhile, at The Filthy Rag publishers ... What do you think of my latest "blow and tell" manuscript, "Blue Dress, Blue Dress, Blue Dress"? Honestly, Ms. Lewinsky, I found the material tired, boring, and your crayon scrawl nearly illegible. So ... If Hillary were indicted, the Clintons MIGHT be temporarily marketable again. Maybe you should try W.H. Smith's. Good day, Madam. Seriously, whose cock do I ha-... GOOD DAY, Madam!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

CC 668: The Interview by brycekain 5-21-17

Ms. Kardashian, thank you for coming in on such short notice to interview for Director of Communication. Didn't you give that job to a spice rack or something? *ZIP!* Sean Spicer, but... wait, what are you doing? Getting ready to be interviewed. Um, yeah. That isn't going work unless you have a penis. Funny you should mention that, Mr. Vice President...

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

CC 668 - The Job Application by Creative4me 5-22-17

it's never too early for a pun You know, there's no horsin' around when it comes to my workplace, and I highly doubt you have the credentials to get up to my HR position. Only the toughest make it by me in the hiring process. I barely passed high school and I make double your wage as an officer. Who the fuck you talking down to bitch you look like Arthur. Whose dick did you suck to get promoted you smelly ass, no earlobe-having face ass. Son dead ass looks like my big toe tryna talk to me like he's something 'cause he made it out the farm. Fuckboy. You're hired.

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I looked at two peeled bananas and realized what they really were. They were Weiners!

CC 668: Working the Balls by dcomposed 5-23-17

Ok Phil the beaver formation is working and you're all doing well with the hopscotch passing method. But they are moving into our touchzone too often so we're going to have to try the tickle defense. Whose dick did you suck to be made head coach? What? That's outrageous! I got this positon based on my merits! What merits? ...I'm the only black man in town.

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Batman created by Bob Kane

Welp, me hosting a comic contest is a great demonstration of the Peter Principle, as I predicted at the start.  I want to thank everyone that entered.

I would love to anounce that Makin_d_bacon is the winner!  YAYYYYYYY!!!!

Like I said, I would love to, but I cannot.  Bonehead violated rule #3.  Wah, wah, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

 Only two strippers adhered to that rule.  And, between the two of them, the one with the funnier comic, in my humble opinion, was Creative4 me.

Congratulations!  Take it away!

As the great "Don Music" used to say on Sesame Street....."D'oh, I'm NEVER gonna get it right!"

I'll give Creative4me a couple of more days to reposnd, then I'll have to choose another winner.

Didn't think I'd win! Thank ya

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I looked at two peeled bananas and realized what they really were. They were Weiners!

Creative4me wrote:

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Didn't think I'd win! Thank ya

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New contest going to be posted any time soon?

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...and if you liked that one, here's a link to my other stupid shit.

Okay...  Creative4me seams to have gone ghost. 

Therefore, using my random number generator, I randomly pick a new winner, and it is...

brycekain!!  YAY!!!

Take it away, BK!