Many years ago, amidst the stirred-up controversy that brought forth such movies as "JFK" and "Joe Ruby", there was a TV special concerning the Kennedy assassination, hosted by none other than James Earl Jones. Soon afterwards, there was another TV special concerning the "Elvis is Still Alive" controversy, if it can be called as such. It featured a morbidly obese man with gaudy gold-framed sunglasses posing in re-enactments as what Elvis might look like were he alive today. This was hosted by Bill Bixby, who perhaps at that time was hard up for cash to fund his cancer treatment. Never before or since have I felt such pity for someone in the acting profession.

But now it is YOUR job, true believers, to show us in one or more Stripcreator-generated comics that Elvis Presley is indeed still alive, his activities and whereabouts, and the reason he chose to leave the public eye in such a manner. This is the only rule.

Judging will take place sometime Sunday evening, Mountain Standard Time. Have fun!

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

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Batman created by Bob Kane

to commemorate Stripapalooza '02:

CC 115: Elvis has left the building, and he sucks. by lara7 4-18-02

Welcome to Dave and Buster's. What can I get for you? I'll have the Reuben. Or any guy named Reuben that works here. (note: evil-d will be played by Big Evil Dan) I've have Barbeque Beef on a Pun..er, bun. I'll have a gardenburger. I'll have the Maryland Crabs. I'll have a fried peanut butter and banana sandwich and a pair of dark sunglasses.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

I have a brain block but felt that I needed to put something in...and out of the lowly comics I've done It must be the worst and suxs puppy cock...

Thankyou for stating the obvious... by Isocish 4-19-02

When elvis was alive... Hi Elvis  Yo  When elvis was dead... awwwww When elvis was alive...(?) Hi Elvis  Yo

Elvis Jr. by crabby 4-19-02

My mom told me Elvis is still alive. WHO TOLD THAT BITCH THAT I SHRUNK ELVIS DOWN TO BABY SIZE AND AM NOW CARING FOR HIM AS IF HE WERE MY CHILD! I think she read it in a magazine or something. Well go tell her it isn't true.

If Only We'd Known by fuzzyman 4-19-02

Elvis! Is that you? Shhhh. Don't say it so loud, Sonny! Yes, it's me. I'm Elvis. But... we thought you were dead! Where have you been? Well, since my baby left me, I found a new place to dwell. Down at the end of Lonely Street at Heartbreak Hotel? That place? Nah, it's a dive. I've been staying at the Marriott!

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...Trot and Cap'n Bill were free from anxiety and care. Button-Bright never worried about anything. The Scarecrow, not being able to sleep, looked out of the window and tried to count the stars.

Elvis Checks In by Spankling 4-19-02

Don't tell anyone bellboy, but I'm Elvis. Of course, sir. Will you be wanting anything else? A fried sandwich? A buff-cloth for your blue suede shoes? A candy bowl full of amphetamines? So you... you believe me? You believe I'm the King? For a reasonable tip I would believe you are the Queen mum sir. Now that's just crazy! She aint due in till tomorrow. We got a pocker night set up. It has been down hill since Ann Margaret, hasn't it sir?

Together Again by Spankling 4-19-02

I thought that bellboy would never leave. I hope you tipped him to stay away. I want it to be just you and me! Sorry Ann, I got company comin' I hope you don't mind sharing... You know me, Elvis! I'm always ready for a party. Who is it? Will Smith? Sting? David Duchovny? No! The Queen mum! Weren't you listening from the bathroom? Damn! That bitch always drools on my lap!

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Taking a One Night Stand by xpac 4-20-02

Hey Lisa Marie I will knock you so good it will bring your dad back to life.

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we're sending our love down the WE-ELL-ELL-ELL! WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW!

CC115 Encore sir, encore. by drave 4-20-02

Elvis?! Is that you?! Elvis they said you were dead! Ah was dead son, but Ah had to come back. Did you come back to lead mankind to a new age of peace and rock n' roll goodness sir? No, Ah came back to die again. Do you have any idea what the after life is like when you die on the crapper son? It's embarrassin' as all git out. Your name rhymes with pelvis. There Ah am, dyin', one of the most profound experiences of mortal existance, an' all Ah can think is, "must... flush..."

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You're ugly. I'm sorry I said that ugly.

This comic is against the rules and probably won't win but I'll post it anyway

Elvis IS NOT....Oh sorry...ELVIS IS DEAD! by Isocish 4-22-02

AAAAGH!!! Oh...am...I....DEAD!? I'm sorry Mr Presley there has been a mistake... I'm not supposed to be dead!? I'm Gonna be given a second chance! YES!! Uh..... Oh...

The Great Pretender. by Geniu$ 4-22-02

On Genesis: Ah, we found you, many years ago we shot your body onto this planet in the hope that you would be reborn. who are you? and who am I? you're Elvis Presley, the King of Rock 'n' Roll, I'll make millions by taking you home. and who are you? My name is Mr_Bin_Laden, I'd like to just strap this *special* sequenced jump suit to you, if that's ok? You've got a meeting with the President today. cool!

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Come ahead then!

good one geniu$!

Due to the unexpected 36 hours of downtime experienced by Stripcreator, I will extend the deadline to Tuesday around noon (MST) for all those who I'm SURE have been waiting with bated breath to post your entries. Thank you for your patience.

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

He's not the messiah... by Geniu$ 4-22-02

I can't believe it, this is where he lives, this is where Elvis has been hiding out for years, I'm going to meet my hero!! Hello dear, what can I do for you? YOUR Elvis? What a gyp, you're all old and frail. I AM nearly 70 you know. King of Rock n Roll my arse.

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Come ahead then!

Okay, so I bent the rules.

CC115: Elvis Who? by descolada99 4-22-02

Elvis lives. I've seen him. First in San Fran. A few years later in Kansas City. Finally, in Baltimore. Always the journeyman, Elvis longed to be able to settle down again, but he was never accepted anywhere. Now he's retired.. What? Who's Elvis Presley? I thought you meant Elvis Grbac....

I've always loved the Elvis Grbac/Elvis Presley joke that has just been waiting to happen. Or something.

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"Fascist Clay was my most favorite totalitarian boxer!" - Indie Rock Pete from Diesel Sweeties

Enter the Graceland (36 Chambers) by Geniu$ 4-22-02

Elvis, I'm glad you've decided to make a come back, however, with todays market, your old style will need a bit of a revamp. Sure thing Clive, I can do anything, anything at all. There might be an opening in the Hip-Hop category, white boys are very in just now. E to the motherfucking P, homeboy. The Elvis Comeback Tour 2002: ...so I dropped that bitch, like a sack of bricks, and fucked her friend instead...

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Come ahead then!

I've been meaning to do a sequel to this for a while, but inspiration finally struck.

Film Noir II - Part 1 by BigEvilDan 4-22-02

I was called in late at night to investigate the crime. Seems that famous toymaker Irving T. Megabucks had been murdered. His motel room was a mess. I knew I'd have to keep my eyes open, or things could get sticky. *splorch* Already I could tell that this was going to be a tough case. You might want to avoid stepping on that puddle. It might just be a clue. Yeah, thanks for telling me before I ruined my shoes. Jackass.

Film Noir II - Part 2 by BigEvilDan 4-22-02

It was a gruesome scene. The victim was lying on the floor, next to a pair of old Levis jeans and a box of cookies. With his last ounce of strength, he managed to leave the message "EVIL S" using his spilled glass of milk. I suspected that the police weren't going to be much help. I decided to investigate my own lead. I think it's a suicide. He was obviously crying over his spilled milk. Ha ha!

Film Noir II - Part 3 by BigEvilDan 4-22-02

I got in touch with an old friend of mine. He wasn't very cooperative, but eventually he told me that Megabucks Inc. was undergoing some heavy competition. Ow! It Mr. Sophisticate! Enough with the word games! I need a straight answer. I ran over to Sophisticate Toys to investigate. Nobody appeared to be home, so I decided to investigate. Hmm...it looks like they're making CD's. I wonder what-- Of course, I made the rookie mistake, and forgot to check for heavily-armed midgets. And when heavily-armed midgets are involved, things get twice as dangerous. *click* Don't move, tough guy!

Film Noir II - Part 4 by BigEvilDan 4-22-02

I awoke in the darkness, but there appeared to be someone else in the room. I had no doubt that this was the big cheese. He was certainly big, at least. What do you want from me? I want to know why you are here. I had to think fast and bluff my way out. I'm investigating the murder of Irving Megabucks, and the little music piracy scheme you killed him to protect. Ha! If I wanted to pirate music, I have the internet. You know nothing about me, thank you very much. And that's when the pieces started falling into place. I know more than you think... Elvis Presley! Impressive. Maybe I won't kill you just yet.

Film Noir II - Part 5 by BigEvilDan 4-22-02

It was my informant who had given me the vital clue. All his anagramming had finally connected with the Levis jeans and the victim's final message. Ow! It Mr. Sophisticate! Enough with the word games! I need a straight answer. But if you aren't stealing the music, then you must be sending it out. But you don't have nearly enough resources to distribute all this. Oh, I have my resources. Is this whole scheme just a way to reclaim your former popularity? Ho ho ho. You're obviously a bit short in your anagramming. I'm afraid you no longer entertain me. Time to die.

[Click to view comic: 'Film Noir II - Part 6'][Click to view comic: 'Film Noir II - Part 7'][Click to view comic: 'Film Noir II - Part 8'][Click to view comic: 'Film Noir II - Conclusion']

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

CC 115: The Return of the Kings by kaufman 4-22-02

Thank goodness we made it to Rivendell, Master Frodo. I can't wait to meet the Elves. Me neither, Samwise, me neither. Hey boy, don't just stand there, bring me a peanut butter sandwich and my pills. Thank you ver'much. Gandalf, I thought you said we'd see Elves here, not Elvis! I did say that, Frodo. You see, he had himself cloned.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

quote:

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For a reasonable tip I would believe you are the Queen mum sir.
Now that's just crazy! She aint due in to tomorrow. We got a pocker night set up.

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I've often wondered what live would've been like if both Elvis and Andy were still alive.

Jailhouse Rock II by israphael 4-23-02

Senor Speilbergo! I want to personally thank you for this opportunity to direct my first film. De nada, meester Dougan. Just make an "artistic" film that makes mucho dinero or you will, how do you say it, sleeping with the fishes. Um... OK. What's with our leading man? He looks awfully familiar. He is someone very important who is making a big comeback. Just keep him happy with whiskey and fried banana sandwiches. Cameras Rolling... Action! Boy, we don't cotton to drug dealers in these parts. So drop your britches, grab your ankles, and get ready for my hunka, hunka burning love.

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"Nothing expresses the brutal grandeur of rectal polyps and anal fistulae quite like the mother-tongue of Goethe."

CC 115: A Suspicious Mind Investigates by kaufman 4-23-02

Throughout the world, socialist movements are gaining momentum once again. Who is behind this resurgence in your country? Elvis Presley. And in your country? Elvis Presley. Why, that Elvis bloke has championed the rebirth of the socialist movement here.. Well, there you have it. From Asia to Africa to Great Britain, Elvis has built the left wing!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

Dear sweet Jesus Christ Kaufman, you truly are a magnificent bastard.

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Dad was flammable

First of all, thanks to everyone who participated, thankyuhvermuch!

There were very few entries that didn't make me smile, but the golden pair of sunglasses goes to ...

*drumroll*

the envelope, please ...

*more drumroll*

hello, the envelope, IF YOU DON'T MIND ...

*crickets chirping*

GIMME THE *&^%$#@! ENVELOPE !!!

*clonk*

Thank you. Ahem. *rip*
Big Evil Dan for "Film Noir II"!

*applause*

Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has built the - er - left the building.

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"There's no point in beating a dead horse ... except, of course, for the pure joy of it." - A. Whitney Brown

The hunger to run another comic competition is starting to consume my soul.

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Come ahead then!

hunger?
I'm going on a hunger strike until Geniu$ wins a comic competition.

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Batman created by Bob Kane