The attempt at breaking the "how many cars can fit into a clown" record went horribly wrong... when the clown got away.

The woman who caused the accident by driving while simultaneously talking on her mobile phone, applying eye shadow and drinking cofee was not seriously injured in the wreck. She was, however, hospitalised in critical condition due to being slapped shitless by the other drivers involved in the accident as she tried to crawl away from wreckage.

Dear Mr. Coyote:

Yes, the ACME Ultra-Super-Electromagnet really works. Enclosed is a demonstration of its capabilities ...

"Phew! That was close! I almost hit that bunny!"

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Dear Mr. Coyote:

Yes, the ACME Ultra-Super-Electromagnet really works. Enclosed is a demonstration of its capabilities ...

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Organizers of a alternative rock festival for vehicles blame the chaos on a new trend called "car moshing."

"When System of a Down hit the stage, it just got brutal," said Justin Case. "Big, drunk semis were just kicking the crap out of little Kias. It was a scary sight."

-- Hooray! Traffic is lighter than normal on the Capital Beltway, with no unusual incidents.

-- New from Binary Arts: The best Rush Hour expansion set yet.

"Destruction Derby: the movie"

The pile up started when everyone turned to watch the fire truck and all the guys standing in the road on the other side.

Where's Waldo?

The LAPD tried it's new "Super Slippery Road Butter" today on I-5. They have chalked it up as a success.

I'm still trying to figure out how the hell half the cars appear to have been coming from the other direction. Is this one of those "Drive any direction you damn well please" freeways, like the Autobahn?

Mere weeks after the landmark decision to let the handicapped race in the Indy 500, the decision was reversed for the mentally handicapped.

Bob decided then and there -- next time his hat blew out the window on the highway, he would just let it go.

Police soon had to reconsider the "land mine" method of carpool lane enforcment.

After the hand-linking cheer, the Autobots transformed and drove off at full speed -- or tried to.

The white cars managed to recover the fumble, but this decision was changed on the coach's challenge.

The jam disappeared shortly after, when a river of Liquid Plum'r went down the freeway.

"Don't Drink And Drive" has been modified to include retard juice.

A vortex appeared on the freeway, sucking any cars nearby into the void.

Soon after, Ford Motor Company recalled all cars that had the dashboard replaced with Grand Theft Auto 3.

The LAPD decided that, while reminding people to not talk on the cell phone while driving is important, reminding them to do so by calling them on the cell phone was probably a mistake.

Upon returning to his rig, Bob the trucker realized that parking at a right angle to the side of the road was not smart.

If you look really closely, you can see Satan's face in the picture.
Closer.
No, closer.
Closer still.
Sucker.

"Only after the 30th car hit the wreck did the firefighters, watching from a safe distance, decide to put up road cones."

"Damn squirrel!"

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"Damn squirrel!"

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"Damn squirrel!"

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Or: "I hate you, squirrel".

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Guy in yellow: "Does anyone remember where we parked?"

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"Damn squirrel!"

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Or: "I hate you, squirrel".

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Or: "STUPID MOTHER FUCKIN' SQUIRREL!!!!!!"

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52-car pileup.

"Just kidding! There's no free beer and fried chicken."