I said at the end of the last contest that I'd post the rules when I was more sober, however Dan questioned my decision and I can't say I blame him.

Why should I be sober to make the rules of a contest? For the sake of the entrants? For a bit of professionalism? No.

So here is the simple rule for this contest (my contests are always simple rules):

It's about [u]alcohol[/u].

I want a comic, or a series of comics (please, I love series') that has the main theme of alcohol. It might be about someone doing something drunkenly crazy, it might be set the day after, it might be about a recovering alcoholic or a comic about someone who has never touched a drop in their lives. I don't care, as long as alcohol is involved somehow.

Oh, and posting my character with the caption "I'm a cross dressing drunken loser" isn't an entry, it's just abuse.

I shall judge this contest on Wednesday night (Glasgow time, you mooks can work out what time that is in your foreign lands), and I'll make sure I'm drunk for the occasion, just to be authentic.

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Dad was flammable

CC 169: #1 by boinky33 2-08-03

I'm drunk.

CC 169: drunk Tobor by boinky33 2-08-03

Let it out, man. Ohhh. TOBOR RUINED THE WHOLE PARTY! Don't wrry, bro. I got to piss, dude.

CC 169: Imagine That! by BigEvilDan 2-08-03

People keep saying I'm a cross-dressing drunken loser. Now Kajun, you know that isn't true. That's what I said. Besides, that kilt makes you look very manly. Is Kajun talking to "Harvey" again? Yeah. Why his hallucinations always wear tight pants, I'll never know.

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"Oh, look, a joke! How original! Thank you, but if I wanted my emotions stimulated pleasurably, I'd get a whore." - Donald B. Jones III

an enjoyable party by boinky33 2-08-03

How are you enjoying the party, man? THE CHEESE PUFFS ARE MADE OF PEOPLE! PEOPLE!!!! Okay, get out. You've been warned. Awww, that was only strike two.

CC 169: enough by boinky33 2-08-03

Dude, I think you had enough to drink. I'll tell you when I had enough! ............ GAH! Okay, I had enough.

CC 169: alcoholic by boinky33 2-08-03

A fly flew in your beer. He did, did he? Spit it out, you bastard!

Why there are so few drunk drivers in Stripcreatorland by kaufman 2-08-03

You were weaving erratically and driving slowly. I think you're driving under the influence. Good thing I took those Altoids. They're strong enough to beat a breathalyzer. You expect a breath test? Hell, we both know they're unreliable. Around here we detect alcohol residue on the colon wall. It's foolproof. Huh? PREPARE FOR TOBRIETY TEST!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 169: Searching for Bobby Liquor by kaufman 2-08-03

Checkmate! What do you mean checkmate? My king can escape to f4 or e3. No, those spaces are covered by my rook and bishop. See h3? See h2? OH!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

The perils of underage drinking by Devin 1-22-03

*SCREECH* Eek! Oh my god, oh my god, she's dead! Oh geez, if they test me for DUI, I'm doomed! Wow, she's hot... I don't wanna go to jail! Let's get the hell out of-- what the hell are you doing down there?! Hold on, I'll be done in fifteen minutes.

CC 169: Let Us Drink by Bazilla 2-09-03

I'm drunk.

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I am not 16 going on not 17, I know that I'm naive.

CC169: Somewhere in the UK by twofish 2-09-03

'kajun' appears due his appropriate garb. Any similarity is wholly coincidental. ;-) 'Ay, laddie! Wot th' 'ell 'appened to ye? Got me in a fight with O'Reilly. I'd 'ave won if'in I weren't so be-schnookered. O'REILLY? Th' bloke's only four feet tall! 'E must 'ave 'ad somthin' in 'is 'and to do all o' that to ye! Aye. Took it to me with a shovel, 'e did. A SHOVEL! Hahhahhah... and, I trust you 'ad somethin' in your 'and as well? Aye, and a beautiful thing it t'was, too... but that particular part o' Mrs. O'Reilly ain't much use in a fight.

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<

Old and not very good. I might try something new later.

This was actually on the news. Seriously. by andydougan 7-13-01

BBC News with Huw Edwards People mysteriously die after drinking Red Bull! John Pienaar has a stupid moustache! John! I'm here in Sweden with the CEO of Red Bull Corporation. So, who's been a naughty boy, then? Not me! It's not the Red Bull that makes people die. It's the vodka they put in it, which is the only way they can bear the taste. Rd Bull contains taurine, which is very nutritious. Okay, so you'd be willing to let your daughter drink a can on international television? Well, yeah, as long as I'm not actually in the vicinity when she opens it. Those fumes could level a city.

Chat up lines. by CrustyJones 2-09-03

Hi! Can I get you a drink? Oh come on! Just one drink, I don't bite! Fucking whore.

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Greater than any other beatnik.

cc 169: Drunken dud by NeoVid 2-09-03

Still no comic ideas... I've got to start drinking more. I wouldn't be any more creative, but at least I'd have something to blame.

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"Only things I approve of should exist." -some guy on the internet

Stage 4 of the drunkenness: the rowdy ballads begin by DL_Rockclaw 2-09-03

I'm just bill i'm only a bill i have have been peeing on capital hill. i peed on george washingtons shill I teach a highschool class. I like people coming and grabbin my....... face. i'm just a really drunken hillbilly.

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Kawaya Kiyu

Badly immitated Scottish accents will be instantly disqualified, how long does it take to teach you people that we DON'T drop our fucking "H"s? That's those fucking Londoners, it's a whole different country!

ass.

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Dad was flammable

Well, mine's not set in Scotland, so I'm safe. :p
Hope it wasn't too horrible for a first CC try.

CC#169 (Gratuitous Pun Strip 2) by Chaly 2-09-03

One night in a pub... in... England. Yes. Heeey, aren't you Vincent Van Gogh? That I am. You're my idol! Come on, I'll buy you a pint. N'thanks, love, I got one 'ere. Our apologies.

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"You cannot lick the system. You can, however, fondle it."

Here's a real chuckle.

Reunion time? by Spankling 2-09-03

Young Spankling meets his mother for the first time. wow! I got a mom just like all my friends. You're beautiful, mom! I love you! I REALY do! Mom? Can you talk? And what are all these empty gin bottles doing all over your apartment? *blink* Mom... GIN! That's what this calls for! Let me call down to the tavern. They have a big sweaty boy who runs more up to me when I need some.

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

CC169: 'ere ye go, mate! by twofish 2-09-03

Due to the protests of certain individuals, we must now present a comic for the CC169 competition that has a CORRECTLY immitated Scottish accent. My ignorant American ass sat through at least TEN episodes of the original 'Star Trek' series in order to get this right; however, no amount of discomfort is payment enough for the transgression. Therefore, I present this comic, with a CORRECTLY immitated Scottish accent, and humbly apologze to Londoners everywhere for making them look like a bunch of drunkin cross-dressers in short skirts. * BEEELCH *

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<

Dad had the good stuff by Spankling 2-09-03

Son, did you help yourself to daddy's nightly tonic. Tell me the truth, now. How does he handle this shit!?! This doesn't look a thing like our livingroom! Don't try to avoid me, young man! I can tell you're not feeling right! So THIS is how you can stand porking mom! oh... uh... I think we can let this be our little secret. Okay? Wanna 'nother sip?

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"Jelly-belly gigglin, dancin and a-wigglin, honey that's the way I am!" Janice the Muppet

Public service anouncement by Zegota 2-10-03

Don't drink alcohol people!!! It's bad for you. It's makes you fat, makes you throw up, gives you a headache, it's addictive, it's expensive and it's makes you have sex with people that are otherwise a big no-no. The trip you get from alcohol ain't worth the time and money you put in it. So instead you'd be better off smoking pot or shooting crack, sure the initial cost is higher than alcohol, but the trip lasts longer and is much more satisfactory. So roll up those sleeves and search those veins. 'Cause you know what they say. "A shot a day keeps the doctor away"

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

CC169:rock bottom by lara7 2-10-03

I'm worried that I'm drinking too much. I'm thinking of going to an AA meeting. What makes you think you have a problem? Well, besides the DWI, there's the constant blackouts, and then yesterday, I hit rock bottom. What happened? I was drunk at the mall and I bought the Justin Timberlake box set. I'll call the Betty Ford Clinic.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

Beer Goggles by itsclark 2-10-03

How would you like to buy me a drink? *Glug* *Glug* KER-TRANS-FORM! *Glug* *Glug* Well? Bartender -- one for the lady!

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

CC169: Lou Reed Circa 1975 by UnknownEric 2-10-03

Okay, Lou, time to record your new album. We're counting on you here at RCA. Oh God... I'm... I'm just too drunk to record right now. But Lou, Sally Can't Dance is starting to drop off the charts. We need fresh product! Can't you get somebody else to, like, fill in for me? And thus, Metal Machine Music was born. RAAAAAR!!!

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I has a flavor!