Forum archives » Comic Competitions » CC39: Warm Beer and Cold Women

Spankling
June 22, 2001 1:47 PM

(When freeservers is up, the pic will show. I'm working on a freedom2surf.net account.)

There are 5 rules:
** Degrade at least one of the 4 girls listed here: Jenna Bush, Barbara Bush, Monica Lewinski or Chelsea Clinton.
** Use a line from a Tom Waits song. (ID the song in the post.)
** Include at least one fisting reference.
** Use the ball-dog to portray god - whether real or hallucinatory.
** Do not focus on politics. Make it personal. Enjoy!

I'll select a winner after noon Wednesday, Chicago time.

Post #8651link

boorite
June 22, 2001 2:42 PM

Oh sure, start a Tom Waits contest on the afternoon when I'm leaving for vacation! DAMN.

Post #8670link

boorite
June 22, 2001 2:54 PM

23361

Best I could do in under 10 seconds.

Post #8672link

Spankling
June 22, 2001 2:55 PM

quote:
Oh sure, start a Tom Waits contest on the afternoon when I'm leaving for vacation! DAMN.

I check with the judges (Gabe, wirthling, the ghost of Obijo etc...). Do we let this thing ramble on until he gets back or make boo get his in before he leaves?

Post #8673link

Spankling
June 22, 2001 2:55 PM

Best I could do in under 10 seconds.


nevermind...

Post #8674link

kaufman
June 22, 2001 8:58 PM

Luckily, nobody specified which "Tom Waits" ...

23401

Post #8688link

Spankling
June 22, 2001 9:06 PM

For the Waits impaired...http://www.officialtomwaits.com/frame/music/m_lyrics.htm

I highly recommend giving him a listen.

Post #8689link

skagg
June 24, 2001 8:49 AM

does "whats he building?" count as a song?

Post #8723link

Spankling
June 24, 2001 12:31 PM

quote:
does "whats he building?" count as a song?
Yes.

Post #8728link

Haights
June 24, 2001 6:49 PM

23520

"$29.00".

Post #8738link

wirthling
June 24, 2001 7:53 PM

23525

The song is "All stripped down."

Post #8740link

Drexle
June 24, 2001 8:11 PM

The song is "Better off Without a Wife."

23526

Post #8745link

kaufman
June 24, 2001 8:42 PM

"Drunk on the Moon"

23527

Post #8747link

Drexle
June 24, 2001 8:55 PM

Well, looks like kaufman has it in the bag so far. God, that one was freakin' hilarious!

Post #8748link

bunnerabb
June 24, 2001 11:51 PM

o/` Those were days of roses, poetry and prose, and Martha, all I had was you and all you had was me, there were no tomorrows, we packed up all our sorrows and we saved them for a rainy day o/`

I Don't have the time to do contests anymore. Notuntil autumn, but I love Tom Waits. :- )

bunner

Over here,
On Tenth and Hennepin

Rock on, then....

Post #8751link

BigEvilDan
June 26, 2001 4:28 PM

23670

The song is Earth Died Screaming

Post #8812link

Spankling
June 27, 2001 10:20 AM

Finally, those that don't know the joy of Tom Waits can move on to the next comic. (But may I suggest you rent the movie [I] Rumble Fish and buy the CD [I] Nighthawks at the Diner? Martha says it's a good thing.)

It was great to see how you guys took goofy crap rules and made enjoyable comics - comics that can stand outside of the rules and be funny. I watch. I learn.

But only one can win. I almost never agree with the rulings in these contests, so it will not shock me if others disagree with me. Dog-ball God knows there is an argument to be made for all of the entries. But I believe my buddy Dave made the best use of all the rules, and to him goes the prize.

I pass this trophy, a life-sized bronze replica of Gabe's tool penetrating wirthling's rectum, to you Big Evil Dave. Waive it high over your head. Kiss it. Cry upon it. Enjoy.

When does CC40 begin?

Post #8853link

BigEvilDan
June 27, 2001 2:33 PM

The rules are currently under construction...

Post #8871link

boorite
June 29, 2001 10:01 AM

quote:
23361

Best I could do in under 10 seconds.



Forgot to say the damn song title: Tom Traubert's Blues.

Not that it matters...

Post #8989link

Spankling
June 29, 2001 10:05 AM

quote:
Forgot to say the damn song title: Tom Traubert's Blues.

Not that it matters...


The thing about Waits lyrics is you could pick them out of anywhere. You here a snippet of conversation and you just know - that's Waits.

I saw his stage show, Franks Wild Years a few years back. Fantastic!

Post #8990link

boorite
June 29, 2001 11:09 AM

You got to meet me by the knuckles of the skinnybone tree.

Post #8997link

Spankling
June 29, 2001 11:16 AM

Well Frank settled down in the Valley
and hung his wild years
on a nail that he drove through
his wife's forehead.
He sold used office furniture
out there on San Fernando Road
and assumed a $30,000 loan
at 15 1/4 % and put down payment
on a little two bedroom place.
His wife was a spent piece of used jet trash
made good bloody marys
kept her mouth shut most of the time
had a little Chihuahua named Carlos
that had some kind of skin disease
and was totally blind. They had a
thoroughly modern kitchen
self-cleaning oven (the whole bit)
Frank drove a little sedan
they were so happy

One night Frank was on his way home
from work, stopped at the liquor store,
picked up a couple Mickey's Big Mouths
drank 'em in the car on his way
to the Shell station, he got a gallon of
gas in a can, drove home, doused
everything in the house, torched it,
parked across the street, laughing,
watching it burn, all Halloween
orange and chimney red then
Frank put on a top forty station
got on the Hollywood Freeway
headed north.

Never could stand that dog

Post #8998link

crabby
June 29, 2001 11:58 AM

Not knowing to much about Tom Waits this is the best I could do. However I did make fun of DrPedantic and isn't that really what it's all about???
Several references were made to Tom Waits song throughout the comic.
23914

Post #9006link

Spankling
June 29, 2001 12:02 PM

Sorry. This contest has been closed by management. No refunds.

Post #9008link

crabby
June 29, 2001 12:09 PM

DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post #9010link

Spankling
June 29, 2001 12:12 PM

quote:
DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yep. And it is just tooo bad. That was such a leg-yankin' funny I'm sure you would have won.

Just a shame.

Post #9011link

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