Since my winning comic was a rip-off... er, tribute to one of Kaufman's entries, I thought it only fitting that this contest be about him rather than a topic that actually interests me (ooh - snap!) Your comic can actually be about anything you like, but Dr. K must put in an appearance as himself. "Big Pun-isher" may grace one panel or all three, it makes no difference.

Now, Brainiac has been around here since rope was invented. But if you still need more biographical info about the man, the myth, or the legend that is Kaufman, you can find it here. As you can see, this site is a gold-mine of comic hooks such as "knowledge discovery and data mining" and the always riveting "analysis of learning strategies". But there is also information about his less geeky pursuits (such as Bridge and "orienteering" -- stop that snickering!)

Only new entries will be considered. Kaufman is encouraged to enter, but receives no bonus points for actually being himself. Judging will be in three days.

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"You'll burn for this. Burn in jail!"

CC 180: Kaufman's secret revealed by Zegota 4-07-03

Hmmmm, a CC about me, if I post something here I'd better make sure it's really funny. Better ask my Bonzi Buddy. Hello Kaufman! How are you today. Want me to make up a good pun for you? YES!

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And you know what Hell is, folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing 'Shadowdancing' for aeons and aeons...

CC 180: Even though your probably not a black guy. by Aero_God 4-07-03

So, itsclark. You think you can steal my ideas and use them to win comic competitions, DO YOU? Yes I do infact You dont wanna mess with me man! I have a Ph.D thingamajig in Information Technology from George Mason University! Ha! I have a Ph.D too. ...... ...a Pretty huge Dick.

your hehehe...no I mean you are. Yeah thats right...*sidles away*

CC180: I don't even know what I'm doing by maddog00 4-07-03

I've run out of puns! I'm totally punless! I'm not even funny anymore! After all these years and comics, who would've thought. Guess ya can't go on forever. Well, at least I have my education to fall back on. Hahaha. Now, that's a good one.

Hey, kaufman!

Why, of all your hobbies and interests and such that you list on that page itsclark linked, do you not list stripcreator? I hope you're not ashamed of us. (You probably should be, but I hope you're not.)

Anyway, here's my recycled entry. New ones to follow as they come to me.

Butch & kaufman by not_Scyess 3-20-03

I heard you got engaged! Yes! I'm going over to her house to make wedding plans after I eat some of these tasty orange melon chunks. Cantaloupe? Nah, she's always wanted a big wedding. What?

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peddling the funny around since 09/24/2002

CC180: Some things Kaufman would say by maddog00 4-07-03

To some, marriage is a word...to others-a sentence. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress. It's better to love a short girl than not a tall. Girls who don't get asked out as often as their friends could feel out-dated Are puns for children or groan ups? You would think that this would get old.

CC180: Kaufman vs George W. Bush by Aero_God 4-07-03

Ya know son, we have had our differences in the past. I just thought that maybe we could get along together, maybe go to camp David for the weekend. No way. Awww come on. Youve insulted me so much in the past with your comics cant you at least let me do you the favor of taking you to the camp right now. Ummm...okay fine...wait...this just in...NO! Please. Pretty please with the rotting corpses of 100s of dead inmates from Texas on top? No. And let me just say if the real Kaufman were doing this strip I would be Pun-ishing you to death right now. Hahahahha! I still got it.

My Worst Nightmare by kaufman 4-07-03

It's truly tragic what happened to kaufman. I know. It's hard to fathom the pain he was going through, but losing his own themed contest must have driven him over the edge. Yeah, but to take such drastic action ... I could never do what he did. Me neither. What twisted soul would really make how many now? 150 multiply-punned entries to CC 181? Juan ate; he won. Heh heh heh! Save Comic?

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC 180: The Next Quantum Leap by Bargaintuan 4-07-03

Theorizing that one could travel within his own subconcious, Dr. Ken Kaufman stepped into the Quantum Leap Accelerator... and vanished! He awoke to find himself trapped in a small room, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to hurt himself. His only guide on this journey is Wirthling, an observer from his own mind, who appears in the form of a floating, disembodied head that only Ken can see and hear. Where's Scott Bakula when you need him? Are you kidding? He doesn't need this crap. He's on the Star Trek Gravy Train to the Stars®!

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

[comic]135824[/comics]
Comics that don't suck completely arriving shortly...

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

D'oh!

CC 180: Kaufman Lives! by MaxPayne 4-07-03

Pointless Cameo Hey kaufman, I thought you went home for the day? Yeah, I was just looking for my cat....oh, here it is.

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

CC 180: Kaufman's Korruption by MaxPayne 4-07-03

One pill, makes you larger... Hey, hippie-1-L, what's shakin'? Not much, kaufsterino, I just got this killer shit. You gotta try it! One pill makes you small... Now if only I could find a pill to make me funny... *giggle* Pussy... *giggle* ............. what?

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leggo my dcomposed! ®

Back Up And Pun by umfumdisi 4-08-03

Andy KAUFMAN: Mee-bee dee-bee see pee-pee dee [wrestle wrestle]. KAUFMAN County, Texas, Chamber of Commerce: Yeeeee-haw! We execute more criminals before 9:00AM than y'all do all day! The True KAUFMAN: Bruce Jenner ate some gravitrons.

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Chicken Feather Bed Bugs Bunny Hop Sing Out Side Street Walker Texas Ranger Cookie Dough Boy Wonder Years

The real Kaufman knows the difference between subatomic particles. Bruce Jenner didn't eat any protons, he didn't eat any muons, he certainly didn't eat any tachyons, and he never ate the gravitons. However, he did eat up the kathlons.

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

...My head hurts.

Apologies -- I'm sure it's been done before...

CC180 or so: Kaufman physics? by flickguy 4-08-03

**Skrawwww!** Generating Gravitons... **Rawwwwk** Ha, Ha! What the fuck are you squawking about?

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This is not my empire.

OK, derivative, but do you expect me to do better after I won the last competiton? Don't answer that!

CC 180: When plagiarism became a real pain in the ass... by jes_lawson 4-08-03

Int: 2nd International Conference on Knowledge Discovery and Data Mining. 1996. An underfunded college researcher makes his case. ... and that's how we think data mining can be exploited to improve machine learning. Interested? Dr Kaufman! Could this framework be used to teach giant autonomous robots to commit baseless acts of sodomy? Uhh, yes, all the information is there but we'll need more money before we can... Hey! Dr Tobor! Wait!... That's all I needed to know. I'll just "borrow" a copy of your paper... ++What did they say, Daddy?++ Were you like a humourous bell? ++ Did you get the fun-ding?++ No, Punbot. I'm afraid if I'm to pay the bills I'll have to download your humour subroutines and sell your body like so many cheap Asian girl jokes...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC180: Kaufman's life in 3 panels by maddog00 4-08-03

His youth I can't wait until I get big. I'm gonna get a cat and a PhD. Barring any cat-astrophe. Haha. His fame Finally got my cat and my PhD. Certainly not cat-atonic. Haha. His infamy I'm a genius. Who needs a PhD and a cat. Stripcreator's my cat-alyst. Haha.

How I Got My "Accessory" by kaufman 4-08-03

July 12, 1990, Washington DC Whoa, it really is raining cats and dogs!

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ken.kaufman@gmail.com

CC180: This is kind of creepy... by mmyers 4-08-03

Kaufman likes"orienteering"? What does that even mean? He's in MENSA and he has several pets. He has a PhD in IT. What i find to be creepy about the internet is that you can find all sorts of info out about people you don't know... Quit stairing at ME!

CC180: Being Ken Haufman(ovich) by mmyers 4-08-03

Kaufman. Kaufman, Kaufman. Kaufman. Kaufman? Kaufman...Kaufman. Kaufman kaufman Kaufman. Kauf...man. Kaufman. KAUFMAN!

I had planned on making this two seperate posts, but sometimes it won't let me post stuff, so so much for splitting things up.

CC180:The Search for Kaufman, pt. 1 by mmyers 4-08-03

Kaufman?

CC180:The Search For Kaufman pt.2 by mmyers 4-08-03

Kaufman!! I've been searching for you everywhere to tell you this...I invited a turkey over for dinner but he couldn't come because he felt fowl. Hehe. Sorry Mario, but your Pun-cess is another castle. Damn.

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Peeing sitting down is the gift you give yourself.

CC 180: Not that kind of orienteering. by jes_lawson 4-08-03

Hey! What am I doing in this vacuum? This sucks! You give me what you got for me, Kaufman! Hey! I paid you two $5 to let me make a joke about you and "sucking" in here! Now what gives? No no, NO! Where my Orient Earring I heard you talk about on web-site? How about, since I got rice thrown at me at my wedding, I come throw hamburgers at yours?

That in-joke/pun was so bad, my old dad would spin in his grave. If he were buried alive, tied to a helicopter...

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC 180: Doctor Doctor... by jes_lawson 4-08-03

Dr. Kaufman! What seems to be the trouble? Well, I just flew here from Virginia and boy, are my arms tired... Meh... Ha ha! No, but seriously Doc, I think I'm developing an irrational fear of palindromes! Aibohphobia. AAAGH!

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Please replace the handset, and try again.

CC 160: Get your Kaufman on... by lara7 4-09-03

Dr. Kaufman, I'm worried about my peanut allergy. I'm sorry, Butch, but I'm not a medical doctor. I have a PhD in Information Technology. I'm sorry, I just assumed.. When you assume, you make and ASS out of U and ME. And apparently, when you eat a legume, you make a LEG out of U and ME...

Yes, I know it's an arm and not a leg. just pretend.

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When they invent BookFace, I'm -there-.

CC 180: Kaufman Meets Bargaintuan by Bargaintuan 4-09-03

You make kitty scared. ALL HAIL THE SACRED KITTY! You suck.

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Life is a lot like getting mugged; you get your kicks, you take your punches, and when it's over, someone else gets your cash.

[ Posted comic does not exist ]

I ran out of steam. Actualy I just wanted to hit 500.